Before the War
SS by Ing

Stacks of paper, my name in bold print
Yours right besides it on this document
Too many lawyers, too many angry words
So much we didn't say, so much we never heard
Do you remember
When I was all that you were living for
Back before the war

Britney was sitting on the backporch of her mother's house when she walked in. "W"ere home." she called out. But there was no answer, her youngerst daughter ran upstairs and that's when she noticed it. Britney was staring out at the backyard, but not really looking at anything in particular.

'Did I do the right thing? Was it worth saving? Could I have tried harder?' These thought have been running through her head ever since she heard about Kelly and Joey's engagement. Should she had given up so soon, should they had just not tried. Could they have worked a little harder, sacrificed a little more. "We would've never worked it out. Right?" She was distracted when she heard noises from the back door opening. Her mother walked out.

"Sweety, are you alright" Lynne asked her daughter. Britney had been on the porch all morning and afternoon, so she came to check on her.

"Sure. I'm fine. I'm just fine and dandy" she said sarcasticly "How was the concert?"

"The concert was great. Jamie Lynn really enjoyed herself."

"Good I'm glad."

"She really misses him you know."

"So do I mama, so do I." Britney said as she got up and went and stood by the railing.

"Is that what I think it is?" Lynne asked as she motioned to the papers cluthed in her daughters hand.

"Oh god mama,what happened. Why couldn't we fix it."

"Honey come here."Lynne said as she held her daughter while she wept.


Back before the broken vows
The shattered trust, this empty house
When nothing really mattered but us
Back before we climbed too high
My dreams were yours, your dreams were mine
Back before we fell so out of touch
Back before the war


Lynn walked into the room. The envelope in her hand causing her pamls to sweat. She would give anything not to have to be the one to do this, but she knew that it would be better if she did it than the perfect stranger that had been waiting outside the arena for her son to exit. She knew it was coming and so did he. But she really hoped that he as as prepared as he claimed to be.

"Justin" she said as she walked in "He was so focused on the wall in front of him that he hadn't even heard her com in. "penny for your thoughts."

"They aren't worth that much."

"Are you ok?" Lynn asked as she walked over to sit in the vacant spot next to him.

"I'm just fine. Just dandy." he said sarcasticly

"Yeah, well....." she paused she didn't know how to proceed

"Justin your on in five," Trace said as he came into the room.

"Mama, did you need something?" He asked

Lynn looked down at the papers in her hand "nothing that can't wait until after the show." she said as she reached up and held his face in her hands. "Are you ok?" she asked again.

"I'm fine mama."

But she knew deep down there was a part of him that had died along time ago. A part of himself that he was no longer letting himself or anyone else see. The broken man inside, the child that cried out. The man that was going to break even more in a matter of hours.

Children's laughter trailing down the hall
Tiny footsteps, God how I miss it all
It's not as simple as who's right and who's to blame
How could we fly so high to be shot down in flames
Do you remember
When you were all that I was living for
Back before the war

"This place looks so different."

"That's because it is different."

"Yeah new place, new start,"she said hugging herself

"We could have waited until next weed to do this you know. I don't have to be back at school yet."Laura Lynne said.

"No I need to do this now."

"Have you heard from him?"

"No,nothing. Just these." she said picking up the newspapers and tossing them on the floor. "he's moved on, and I'm stuck in neutral."

"You'll get through this."Laura Lynne said coming up behind her "you'll always have your memories. Isn't that what you told me one time."


"Yeah." She said with tears falling from her eyes "we'll always have Miami."

"Oh My God, that's where it happened didn't it?That's where you made love for the first time."

"Yeah."

"That why the house and all the trips. I was wondering."

"You know how someplaces just hold a special meaning to you. Well that was our place. That time is the one good memory that I have that isn't tarnished."

"You were so happy and so scared. You had no idea how things would turn out."

"It was so new and we were so happy. The distance didn't matter then, nothing mattered but us. The rest of the world was just a blur. It was our world and everyone else was mearing visiting. We fuckin had it all." she said as she picked up crystal vase and threw it across the room.

Back before the broken vows
The shattered trust, this empty house
When nothing really mattered but us
Back before we climbed too high
My dreams were yours, your dreams were mine
Back before we fell so out of touch
Back before the war

"Justin can I come in?" Trace said from the doorway of the hotel.

"Yeah what is it?"

"That messanger you wanted is going to be here in a few minutes. You want to give me what ever you have for him so that i can makesure the bodyguards have it when he gets here."

"Umm, sure>' he said walking to the bedside table "have I had any calls today?"

"Brit didn't call if that's what your asking."

"I guess I just hoped that she would show up tonight. She's never missed a New Orleans show."

"The weather is awful out there. Maybe she just didn't want to fight that. YOu know the storms that have been kicking up around here lately."

"Your probably right." he said as he withdrew the papers from the envelope . "Do you have a pen."

"Yeah sure." he said before he noticed what it was. "That isn't what I think it is, is it?"

"It sure is." Justin said "The final curtain."

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"No....no this is not what I want." he said as he picked up the pen and signed the paper.

Trace looked down at the paper. "God you two even write alike." he said when he noticed both signatures.

"When you have been with someone as long as we were together you pick up the little things

Stacks of paper, I guess this is where we sign
Strange how your signature so closely matches mine
I never dreamed our love would ever come to this
Avoiding each other's eyes still craving your tenderness

"Thank you. Goodbye. Britney said as she hung up the telephone and sat in the chair

"Britney, honey are you ok?" Her mother asked as she came into the room.

"That was..that was." she said in between sobs "that was the lawyer. He got the final papers in today. He said he's going to be messangering them out to me. It's over mama."

"Did you think he wouldn't sign them."

"No...a part of me hoped he wouldn't but. In reality I knew he would. I dont know why this hurts so much. I wish it would stop. I tried to tell myself that we are just going to be very busy and won't have time to see each other just like all those other times. But this time around there are no long and passionate goodbyes. I guess its true hindsight is 20/20."

"Yeah, well maybe things didn’t go right.But aren't you glad for the time that you had ."

"In the beginning yes. But toward the end, we fought too much, over the littlest things. There were words of hate rather then love.And very sentence was punctuated by anger. Every moment a tight rope act where we were trying to say the right words. It was too easy to fall and in this case falling was not a good thing. Instead of falling in love we fell out of love."

"Remember its better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all."her mother said as she held her as she cried for a love that was lost


Do you remember
When love was all that we were living for
Back before the war
Back before the war

"Hey man what are you doing?"Trace asked as he walked into the hotel room.

"Writing."

"Another hit?"

"No this time I'm keeping it private. I'll be out in a second." he said
"Yeah oh ok. Trace said as he walked back out the door.
Justin picked up the letter that he had been writing and read it again to make sure he had said everything he wanted to say.

Brit, I know the last thing you want to read right now is a letter. A letter from me least of all. But I just had to get some things off of my chest. It was very immature of me to act the way I did. Guess I have a temper, but so do you.I can' t take back th enasty things i said about you and to you . I didn't mean them and I'm sorry.I dont expect an apology from you. I also dont expect to be forgiven all at once. Just like I dont expect to forgive you all at once. But time heals all wounds. I know that now it is odvious to both of us that there is no hope for us. Were bad for each other mentally and physically. When that happened I don't know. But we went from being the air the other breaths to the noose around the neck. HOwever there is a bigger picture. Its our past. A long history of friendship and love that shouldn;t be destroyed. We share the same friends, our famies are friends. We shouldn't let our selfishness get in the way of that. It's the least we can do. And just know, that no matter what. I still do love you, I will always love you. You will always be my first love.

Love Always.
J

There were no more words to be said. No more deeds to be done.They say it takes a second to meet someone, a minute to fall in love But a lifetime to forget them.

sequel