Unforgotten Love
SS by Chris

 

“Larry, I’m leaving.  I’ll be back in a week.  I’m off to live my life again,” she said and then she was gone.

 

Larry just smiled and kept working.

 

“Brit, don’t you think this is just a little bit rash,” Fe said as they were getting on her plane.

 

“Rash?  What is so rash about choosing to live my life and get what is rightfully mine back?  Is that so much to ask for?” she said

 

“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up only to have them crushed by some inconsiderate asshole.”

 


”Fe, I appreciate your sentiment, but I’m not quitting on us.  I love him too much to give up what we had.”

 

“I understand that, but I want you to be prepared for a possible cold reception.  That is all I’m saying,” Fe said and then went to her seat.

 

 

When Britney landed in New York, she went straight to her apartment to plan what she was going to do. 

 

“Brit, do you want anything before I head home for the night,” Fe said from the front door.

 

“No that’s okay Fe.  Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow maybe,” Brit yelled from the bedroom.

 

“Britney you call me if you need anything you hear me,” Fe yelled at her

 

“Yes mother, I will,” Britney said laughing.

 

 

Britney thought about what would she say to him.  What would he say to her?  It was the first time that they had been in the same room in nearly a year.  They might have been in the same area, but they were never in contact with one another and this was going to be the first time since Cameron entered the picture. 

 

The next morning came and went quickly.  Britney decided that she would just play it by ear and go over to his apartment later in the afternoon. 

 

During the morning she went shopping a little and did anything to keep her mind occupied because as the afternoon grew closer, the more nervous she got.  Then the hour arrived that she was going over there.

 

As the driver stopped at his building, she began to have second thoughts about doing this, but then Larry’s words crept through her mind. 

 

 “Britney, you can do two things here.  You can continue to live life for what is put in front of you like you have been for the last year and a half, or you can go and get what you love most in this life like you used to do.  The choice is yours my dear to live or to love.” he said then he got up and left her on the couch.

 

As Larry’s words played through her head, she entered the building and headed for Justin’s apartment.

 

She knocked on the door and waited. 

 

She waited for a couple of minutes before the door finally opened.

 

“What did you forget…Oh, you’re not Justin.” Cameron said wearing only one of Justin’s old sweatshirts.

 

“No, I’m not.  I take it that he isn’t here,” Britney said stepping inside the door and out of the hallway.

 

“No he isn’t.  So now you can leave.” Cameron said smugly.

 

“Well, when he returns tell him that I’m in New York and that I want to see him please,” Britney said turning towards the door.

 

“I won’t tell him anything,” Cameron said.

 

“Pardon me, what did you say,” Brit said turning back around to face Cameron.

 

“I said get lost Britney.  I’m not telling Justin anything.  He doesn’t love you anymore.  Now stay away from him before you get hurt,” Cameron said trying to intimidate Brit.

 

Britney just laughed.

 

“Ya know for being this so called great actress, you suck.  Are you supposed to be scaring me with that all big and bad look.  Well you don’t.  And get this through that little head of yours.  I’m here to get Justin back and I will.  So don’t you push me,” Brit said getting in Cameron’s face.

 

They just stood there staring at one another before the door swung open and slammed shut.

 

“What the fuck is going on in here,” Justin said with anger in his voice.

“Oh nothing really, just a little girl talk,” Britney said with a smile on her face.

 

“Yeah, girl talk,” Cameron, repeated.

 

“Girl talk huh,” Justin didn’t buy it.

 

“Well Britney, the chat was nice, but you need to leave right now, because we have other things to do,” Cameron said grabbing a hold of Justin and kissing him deeply.

 

“I believe that this is Justin’s place and that if he wants me to leave, than I’ll leave, but otherwise…shut the fuck up,” Britney said breaking the kiss up between them and leaving Cameron shocked.

 

“Britney!” Justin said.

 

“Can we talk in private,” Britney asked.

 

“Sure,” he said walking her towards his office.

 

“What is it that you want Britney?” Justin said after closing the door behind him

 

“You,” she said.

 

“Excuse me, what did you say,” he said trying to find words to place his shock

 

“I said that I came here for you.  I’m tired of living without you.  I tried and I can’t.  I love you too much to live without you.  You made me so happy and I haven’t been happy since you left. I want you back J.”

 

“Well in case you didn’t notice, I am kind of already spoken for,” Justin said pointing towards the other room and Cameron.

 

“With that blonde bimbo.  What does she give you huh?  Nothing more than sex.  I know that she doesn’t love you like I did.  I know that she only wants you because you’re the hot thing right now.  I know that she will drop you as soon as you’re not the in thing anymore,” Brit said becoming angrier by the second.

 

“And how do I know that you’re not wanting me back because I’m the “in thing” as you put it.  At least I know that I can trust her; that she isn’t sneaking around behind my back.  Now that you mention it…. you seem a little jealous Britney.  Do you want me back because Cameron has me?  It’s kind a funny that you come back after I’m taken.  Ain’t that somethin’?  You come back after you realize that I might actually be moving on without the wonderful Britney Spears.  Is that why you came back for me?  Huh?” he said also becoming angrier as each word came out of his mouth.

 

Britney just sat on the edge of his desk on the verge of tears.

“Have you forgotten our love already?  I haven’t,” she said.

 

Britney then got up and left the apartment walking right past Cameron and never saying another word.

 

Justin stayed in the office for a few more minutes trying to collect his thoughts about what just happened between him and Britney.

When Justin walked out of the room, he found Cameron right there waiting for him.

 

“So what was that all about,” she asked with a snooty tone.

 

“None of your damn business,” Justin retorted back.

 

“Well, it is my business when my boyfriend and his ex go into a room alone.  I think that makes it my business.”

 

“Alright you want to know so god damn bad.  Fine.  I’ll tell you what she wanted.  She wanted me.  She came back for me,” Justin yelled.

 

Cameron just looked at him with total shock on her face.

 

“Well that little bitch.  I knew that she couldn’t stay away from you.  I knew it all along,” Cameron said soft enough that Justin couldn’t hear it, or so she thought.

 

“What was that,” Justin said.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure that you just called Britney a little bitch. Did you?” he said getting in her face.

 

“Maybe I did and then again maybe I didn’t,” Cameron said backing away from him and walking towards the bedroom

 

“I know what I heard and if I’d better never hear you call her a bitch again,” Justin said walking towards the door.

 

“Where are you going?” Cameron asked him as he grabbed his coat and opened the door.

 

“Out,” and Justin slammed the door behind him.

 

 

Justin spent the next few hours wondering the streets of Manhattan.  He walked through Central Park, Times Square, past the clubs that he and Britney visited.  Place after place he went something reminded him of Britney.  It seemed like everywhere he went, he had been there before with her.  When he went through Times Square, he looked up at the MTV studios where they had so much fun together.  The walk through Central Park he saw the bench where they had one of there most precious conversations and kisses.  Each club that he passed held some sort of significance to him.  Whether it is the club where he and Britney danced the night away at and then returned to their apartments of a night of lovemaking or the club where they had their final dance as a couple.  She was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.  He could feel her around him, but she was nowhere in sight.

 

Finally, he wound up at the one place that he never expected to see again, her apartment.

 

Slowly he worked his way up to her apartment and arrived at her door.

 

When he got there, he heard something that brought a tear to his eye instantly, she was crying.

 

He could hear her through the door and she was crying. 

 

He knew that she was slumped down in front of the door crying.  She did that when she was really depressed and knew that there was nobody to help her. 

 

He had found her like that one day after one of their fights.  She was all curled up right in front of the door to their house in LA crying when he got home.  And he knew that she was doing the exact same thing now.

 

Slowly he knocked on the door.

 

She didn’t answer, but she had stopped crying at least.

 

“Who’s there?” she asked through the sobs that were still coming.

 

“Brit, it’s me.” He said softly to the door.

 

“What do you want?  Are you hear to humiliate me some more.  I would have thought you would have had enough of that by now.  Or is that your new hobby, finding new ways to humiliate Britney?” her voice was full of anger and disappointment.

 

“Brit, please.  Let me in so that I may speak to you.  Please.”

 

She opened the door slowly and looked at him.

 

“Please,” he said one more time and then she opened the door all the way and let him walk in.

 

“What do you want Justin.  If you came to continue where you left off earlier, you have said enough.  I don’t want to hear anymore,” she said breaking down again.

 

“Hey,” he started to walk towards her, but she backed away from him, “no more tears please.  You know that I hate it when you’re crying.”

“Well that isn’t something that you get to control anymore,” she said with such venom in her voice that it stunned Justin.

 

It was obvious that this wasn’t the same Britney that he had talked to earlier in the evening. She was so cold and uncaring.  It wasn't the one that had a glimmer of hope in her eyes.  Now there was no glimmer, only darkness.

 

“I’m sorry about earlier.  I overreacted and I’m sorry,” he said.

 

“You came over hear to tell me that you’re sorry.  Well now you have said it and you can leave,” she said walking towards the door.

 

“No,” he said quickly.  She stopped walking, turned, and faced him again.

 

“I came hear to tell you that I haven’t forgotten our love.  I could never forget what he had together.  What he had was so special that I’ll never forget it.  Hell, I’ll probably never feel something so perfect ever again.  I came here to tell you that I still love you, that I always have, and that I always will.  That will never change.  I came here to tell you that I miss you more that you would imagine.  I think about you everyday.  You’re the first thought when I get up and you’re the last thought before I sleep.  That is what I came here to tell you.”  He said wiping the tears from his eyes.

 

“What about Cameron?  Does she know about all that stuff that you just told me?” Britney said trying to keep her composure that she had finally regained.

 

“Cameron is important to me.  I do love her, but she isn’t you.  She could never replace you.  Hell, she is almost like you, but then again she isn’t.  She has the same physical features as you, but she isn’t anywhere close to you in personality.  I love you for you. I love everything about you.  There are some things that I don’t love about you, but because they are a part of you, it makes me love them too. I love her for what she does for me.  You’re perfect.  She is as close as I can come to being perfect for me,” he said walking over to her and getting down to her eye level to look in her beautiful brown eyes. 

 

“I love you Justin.  I love you so much that it hurts sometimes.  I have always loved you.  I always will.  I mean look at me.  I look like shit.  This what happens to me when you’re not around.  You are everything to me.  You’re my rock.  You mean so much to me that I don’t want to live without you, because then I’m not living anymore.  I just exist.  You make me feel so alive that I don’t want to live without you,” she said then she fell into his arms crying.

 

“Well, I’m here now aren’t I,” he said letting her just melt into his arms and release all the emotions that she had been holding within her.

 

Britney fell asleep in Justin’s arms.

 

He picked her up and put her to bed and then he left.

 

 

When he walked back into his apartment about forty-five minutes later, he found Cameron asleep on the couch.  He could tell that she had been crying.

 

It broke his heart to do what he was going to do, but he loved Britney so much that he had no other alternative. 

 

He slowly packed all of Cameron’s things that were around the apartment, while she slept. 

 

He let her continue to sleep.  He just sat in the chair opposite her, and watched her sleep.  Yet, the whole time he watched her sleep he was thinking about his baby girl on the other side of Manhattan. 

 

Cameron woke up when the sunrise struck her face.

 

When she opened her eyes, she found Justin’s blue ones staring back at her. 

 

“Good morning,” she said sitting up.

 

“Morning.  We need to talk,” Justin said getting up from the chair and walking into the kitchen.

 

“Before you say anything, I wanted to say I’m sorry for calling Britney a bitch last night.  I know how much she means to you and I would never want to come between that.  I just want you to be happy and I’m sorry for calling her a bitch,” she said walking up to him and burying her head in his chest.

 

He didn’t react at all.  He just stood there and let her lean on him.

 

“Cam, we really need to talk,” he said and she slowly moved her head away from his chest.

 

“You’re going to break up with me aren’t you,” she said looking at him with the saddest eyes that he had ever seen from her.

 

“Yeah, Cameron.  I am.  I love her so much and she means everything to me that I have to follow this chance to have her back.  I’m sorry.  I never meant to hurt you.  I do love you and I wish you all the happiness in the world,” he said as she started to cry.

 

“I know.  I always wondered if she would come back.  Now I know,” she said retreating to the bedroom where she got dressed.

 

“If you ever need anything, call me.  I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Justin said before she walked out the door and his life.

 

 

Justin took a few minutes to gather his thoughts about what just happened, but as he was staring around the room, his eyes found a picture that he didn’t know he still had.  It was a picture taken by his mom in Hawaii of him and Britney. 

They looked so happy in that picture and he remembered that he left and didn’t say he was leaving or if he would be back.

 

Quickly he gathered some of his stuff, threw it into a bag, and left for Britney’s.

 

When he got there, she was gone.

 

Justin started to panic.  Had he missed his chance to get her back?  Where did she go?

 

Justin called knew who to call to find out.  He called Mo. 

 

“Mo, where is she?” Justin said frantically.

 

“Calm down J.  She went back home this afternoon after you disappeared last night.  You really hurt her this time Justin.  She hasn’t stopped crying since I picked her up to go to the airport and it looked like she had been crying before that too.  You fucked up big time buddy.  So I’m done talking to you.  I used to think that you cared about her, but I don’t know anymore.”

 

“Mo, I went home to get some stuff and when I came back she was already gone.  I love her Mo please don’t question that.  I love her more than anything.  I’m coming down there so don’t let her go anywhere,” Justin said hanging up.

 

Fours hours later, he was standing outside Britney’s bedroom in Kentwood. 

 

When he got to her house, he found only Mo inside.

 

“Where is everybody Mo?” Justin asked when Mo opened the door.

 

“Well Ms. Lynne and JL couldn’t stand to listen to Brit cry anymore and had to leave.”

 

As Justin walked further into the house, he could hear Brit crying from her room.  He smiled slightly, he always knew she cried loud but she never believed him.

 

“Mo,” Justin said turning around to face him, “thanks for protecting my girl while I was gone.”

 

“Sure thing, but go make her smile again.  I can’t stand to listen to her cry anymore.”

 

“You and me both,” Justin said as he headed towards her room.

 

When he got there, he pulled out a bouquet of red roses and something that she had left on his desk the other day when she was there.

 

Lightly he tapped on the door. 

 

“Come in,” she said through her tears.

 

He slowly opened the door and walked in.  The sight before him nearly made him break down.

 

He found Britney sitting in her window staring out and right beside her was the very same picture that he was viewed on his bookcase earlier.

 

“I know I said that I would try to get over him mama, but I love him so much,” she said and she started crying again. 

 

Justin just stood there and watched.  It was taking every once of will power he had not to run over there and kiss her and hold her, but he wanted her to make the first move.

 

“After last night I thought that we would be alright, but then he left again.  I wish I would have at least gotten to say goodbye.”

 

That was it.  He couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“How about a hello first,” he said softly.

 

She jerked her head around and just stared at him with the tears still coming down her face.

 

“You’re here.  You’re really here,” she said getting up and running to him.

 

“Yeah, baby girl I’m really here.  I wouldn’t be anywhere else right now,” he said pulling her as tight to him as he possibly could.

 

When they broke the embrace she asked, “Where did you go last night?”

 

“I had to let somebody off easily and I knew that I couldn’t do it over the phone.  I had to tell her that I had my baby girl back and that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make her smile again.”

 

“I thought you had left again.”

 

“Nope.  You’re stuck with me forever baby girl.” 

back to "To Live or to Love"

 

 


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