I'm Going to Smile
SS by Talia & Melanie D
(poem (in bold) written by KAC)

There's a sparkle in your eye.  It’s a sparkle of happiness.  It makes your eyes just a little bit bluer, your cheeks a little bit rosier, and you just that much more beautiful.  We've been sitting in this position for the past hour.  Me in your lap, your arms gently draped around my sides, my head on your shoulder.  As I study your face I wish I still saw what I saw a year ago.  I wish I could still see my children in those eyes.  I wish I could still see the girl I wanted to be in those eyes.  Most of all I wish I saw unconditional love that was only meant for me.  We were supposed to live happily ever after.  We were supposed to beat the world.  We were supposed to be perfect.  I never really found a flaw.  I knew in a world of such impurities, perfect didn't exist.  That made everything blurry.  It wasn't supposed to be like this.  I wish that sparkle would last forever.  It won't.  I'm going to take that away and there's no one to blame for that but me.  When something as precious as a crystal vase is held too close to the ground, it's bound to break.  I refuse to let that happen.  So I'm just going to move that vase to a higher shelf for safekeeping where it won't shatter. I'll end us and make sure that vase is never shattered, only tucked away, where it won't be the biggest, brightest item on the shelf.  I'm simply not ready.  So I'm going to make this moment last just a little bit longer.  I'll hold my smile for that extra minute.  I'll do it because I
love you.  I love you more than my heart can handle.

The worst feeling in the world
is knowing you're going to lose somebody
your heart aches every time you think of them
knowing that no matter how deep you look into their eyes,
and hold on to their heart,
sooner or later, you're going to lose them.

When I'm gone I hope you remember just how much I love you.  No one’s perfect; everyone makes mistakes.  In my eyes, from that moment on, you may
not always see children and you may not see a perfect Britney anymore.  But I can guarantee you will always see unconditional love.  So laugh and smile
with me for just five more minutes.  Let me be your girl for just five more minutes.  Let me feel loved for just five more minutes.

So...
I'm going to smile because I want to make you happy,
laugh; so you can't see me cry
I'm going to slowly let you go in style
and even if it kills me
I'm going to smile.  -KAC

You’re confused.  You’re on your knees begging to know why.  Why am I ending things?  Why am I ending us?  What did you do wrong?  I can’t answer these
questions.  My heart aches too much and the tears are caught in my throat.  All I know is perfect doesn't exist.  Not in the real world it doesn’t.  Perfect only exists in fairy tales.  Which is exactly what I used to think we were.  Before I knew better.  You reach for me, trying to get me to stay, trying to keep me with you, but
I back away.  I know I should break our eye contact; I should go.  I slowly let go of your hands that were just holding mine, and turn around painfully.

My heart aches even more as I walk away from you.  But you won't see me cry.  You won't see my tears.  Only a smile.  My tears will come only in isolation.  Only on the inside.  For now I know that I have ruined that beautiful sparkle in your eye.  Until next time, I'm gonna keep on smiling.