Second Chance
SS by Samantha
D
Part 1
Justin’s P.O.V
Have you ever felt complete? Like everything in your life felt right…even if it was for a short time, I had that at some point in my life. I don’t know how or why…but I let it go. At that time I never gave it the proper meaning or reaction it should have had on me. I guess you can say that I was self-absorb to think much of it. I carried on and never looked back. However it came back to bite me in the ass as I settle with a woman that can never give me the satisfaction as the only woman that ever if not possible was perfect to me. No matter how much I try to forget, I’m always reminded of what I lost ever since I never felt that sense of security and warmth again. I guess you can say that I am still living in this constant trance of denial. No one knows that I feel like this. I can’t let them know that I, Justin Timberlake let go off the one thing that everyone looks for which is not only; true love, but happiness that can brighten your day when you are feeling worthless and misunderstood. What’s worst is that I was the one that let it go and never even fought to gain that back. How you go on knowing that you lost the best thing you ever had? For me it was painfully easy…Ironic isn’t it? I was suffering but I knew what I had to do, which was to never show my weakness to anyone. Every fling was to fill the void that her departure left in my life. I really shouldn’t stir with my agonizing past since I should be moving on because Britney sure has and I’m sure she wouldn’t want anything to do with me. It’s been Three years now since the whole break up, I’ve been with Cameron for two years, and I guess you can say that I’ve learned to love her. I asked Cameron to marry me a couple of days ago and we are planning our wedding soon and no one has meant their “happy words” I guess I have to settle for that too.
“Get it together man,” I tell myself, As I sit on the floor ashamed of what I have become a weakling that settles with conformity with no kind of struggle to fight this sort of epidemic. The rings of my cell phone break my thoughts, as I look at the screen I immediately pick up the phone.
“Mom?”
I say, instantly regretting it knowing, that it’s an absurd question Duh
Justin it’s her phone number and does the title Mom on your cell phone tell
you anything?
“Yes baby…I” I hear my mom say barely audible for me to hear.
“Mom…what’s wrong?” I’m getting frustrated…it’s rare that I ever hear my mom this…vulnerable.
“Baby…it’s Britney” I hear her say along with some clear sobs in the background.
My world has completely shattered.
My being has faded along with my senses.
I can’t think, I can’t see, I can’t feel and I’m sure as hell can’t breath.
“Baby are you there? Justin talk to me”
“What happened? Is she okay?” How I found my voice I will never know.
“Baby she’s….she’s gone”
“What! You’re lying…no she’s okay… she…she’s on tour, why are lying mom?” I’ve lost everything even control.
“I’m sorry baby there was a car crash and she…she died instantly”
“No! It’s not possible” I throw my cell phone against the wall and I fall onto my knees and cry at how horrifying life and truth can be. I never thought that the only way out of this constant case of denial was to lose her in every sense of the word. Her beautiful eyes captivated my soul from the beginning and I never realized that I was condemned to love her and only her. She was my life that I was destined to keep, to surrender my soul to her. I was a prisoner to her love but I never saw the beautiful side to this. I will never be happy therefore I should not even try but I will always be reminded of what I gave up. “The fire in your eyes will never die,” I scream at the top of my lungs “No you are my heart, you’re my star that’ll always shine.” It was as if I needed to see this to know that I was such a fool. I don’t know where my life will take me but I know that I’ll be a lost soul because I have indeed lost it all. However someday I’ll get a second chance, where everything will go…as how it was meant to be. “I’ll always love you” I whisper in this hopeless cold bedroom.