It's hard to explain
Inherently it's just always been strange
Neither here or there
Always somewhat out of place everywhere
Ambiguous
Without a sense of belonging to touch
Somewhere halfway
Feeling there's no one completely the same

Britney stood at the door. Not sure is she should knock. If she did what kind of response would she get. But she knew she had to, this wasn't for her that she was here. And thats' what pained her the most. So she let pride fall to the ground as she raised her hand to knock on the door.Once, twice....she rang the bell. Once, twice....no answer. She turned to leave."That's it Brit's fate is telling you to get the hell out of here" she said to herself. Just as she heard the door behind her open.

"Britney, I'm surprised to see you" Justin said standing in the doorway in a pair of sweatpants and and no shirt." What are you doing here"

And for the life of her she couldn't think of why she was there. What had prompted her to come here. Why had she thought that he cared anymore.

"Britney" he said once again "come on in"

Walking on autopilot she walkd into the livingroom. The living room to the house she had never seen. The house he had had bought after he moved out of their home. "I'm sorry this was a mistake" she said as she turned to leave.

"Wait Brit no, what is it, There must be a reason for you to drive these hills at this time of night." he said as he held on to her arm not letting her go. "What is it, is everything ok.Your ok right, your family"

And all of a sudden he saw a flash of panic across his face. He was worried about her. Her family. "Everything is fine." She said . "But I need a favor J" she said standing there looking up into his eyes.

Standing alone
Eager to just
Believe it's good enough to be what
You really are
But in your heart
Uncertainty forever lies
And you'll always be
Somewhere on the
Outside

"Nevermind, forget I said anything. I'll be seeing you"

"What do you need" he finally said.

"It was a mistake, I shouldn't have asked."

"Let me decide that."

"It's not even for me."

"Tell me Brit" he said as he walked her over to the sofa. His hand never leaving the small of her back. She damned herself for leaving the house impulsively without think about w hat she wore. Now that she looked at herself she had on a pair of shorts and a very sheer tank top. When she looked back up she saw that Justin was noticing too."Brit the favor" he said as he placed his hand on top of hers.

She took a breat before she began and she watched him watch her chest rise and fall. "i'm scared."

"Now were getting somewhere" he said sarcasticly.

"It's Jamie Lynne'' she said

"You said everyone was fine"

"No not like that, physically she is."

"Why do I have a feeling there is a but at the end of that."

"J, she has grown up so fast."

"Baby that happens to the best of us" he said as he reached out and held her in his arms. It felt oh so right.

"No not like that" she said "She's changed. I look at her and I see myself at that age."

"You were a pretty cute kid" he said

"That's not it. At that age all I wanted to do was have fun. Go for long walks by the lake. Take in a few movies go to a party or two. But not Jamie Lynne she's all work."

"I can remember someone who would make me stay at the studios until late to get a scrip right or to make sure we had a dance routine down pat."

"But there is a difference, a huge difference. No one was there to tell us what were were in for.She has no idea what she's getting into getting into the business this young. It robs you of so much."

Early on, you face
The realization you don't
have a space
Where you fit in
And recognize you
Were born to exist

"Did you tell her how you felt"

"Yeah I did and she told me that I didn't know what I was talking about. She wasn't me."

"She's not you Brit. But she does have your strength and we made it."

"Did we?" She said as she walked to the huge picture window overlooking the ocean. "We did, but do you realize the cost. "

"Brit I think you are being too dramatic"

"She doesn't realize how much she has to give up. The dances, the friends, the football games."

"You never complained."

"I had you I didn't need anything else" she whispered

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just that Jamie Lynne has been around us and all she sees is the glamour, she's seen the tears but she's seem more of the glamour. The parties, the travel. She does't know about the late nights lying in bed crying when your alone. The holidays away from home. She doesn't see."

"The sacrifices, the constant cameras in her face, the people who will hate her not for what she is or what she does but simply who she is."He finished for her.

"Yes. And as much as it hurts me to say she will never get a fair shake she will aways be compaired to me."


Standing alone
Eager to just
Believe it's good enough to be what
You really are
But in your heart
Uncertainty forever lies
And you'll always be
Somewhere on the
Outside
And it's hard
And it's hard
And it's hard

"What do you want me to do Brit...tell her to give it up."

"I don't know" she said as he wrapped her in his arms "All I know is right now she's blinded by the dream. And you know, I remember being that way. But I was older I was so much older."

"Brit I think when were young we all think we can do and have it all. She's just like you. I look at her I see you."

"That's what I'm saying." she said tears coming to her eyes "I grew up to fast, but these years. Now where she's at, Those were the st of my life. But it ended and all your so called friends" she said getting angry.


Irreversibly
Falling in between
And it's hard
And it's hard
To be understood
As you are
As you are
Oh, and God knows
That you're standing on your own

"Brit what are you really afraid of."

"I don't want Jamie Lynne to wake up one morning and realize that she has given everything up. Everything decent and good in her life. I don't want her to have regrets. I don' twant her to have to cry herself to sleep at night because someone told her she wasn't good enough. I don' t want her to miss holidays and birthday's" she said gasping for breath. Justin saw this and walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. " I don't want her to work her self to the point where nothing else matters. I want her to plan her wedding and actually see that day come. Not have to trash the plans in the trash." When she said this she felt his shutter. "I don't want her to fall in lvoe be have to give it up because its for the best."

"Brit"

"I'm sorry." she said as she broke away from him.

"What do you want me to do."

"I don't know. I guess just talk to her. Promise me she won't end up like me."

"Ending up like you is not a bad thing"

"Yes it is. Because I worked and worked and sufferend and was called names and hated. And sacrificed. And what do I have now. Nothing, not a damn thing.I'm alone. And god knows I don't want her to end up like that"

"Your not alone, you never have been alone and you never will be. And neither will Jamie Lynne as long as I'm around" he said as he walked up to her. He held her face in his hands as he leaned down and kissed her. "you'll never be alone."