Our Song
SS by Cay
Britney’s POV
Stronger than yesterday, nothing’s standing in my way…
That’s what I thought described me. No matter what happened, I thought I could
be strong enough.
And I was.
With him by me side, I was stronger as each day passed by. Because of his love.
He gave me strength. He gave me hope. And I am everything I am, because he loved
me.
You were my strength when I was weak; you were my voice when I couldn’t speak.
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see, you saw the best there was in me. Lifted
me up when I couldn’t reach, you gave me faith cause you believe and I am
everything I am because you loved me.
He taught me how to love, he taught me how to dream. He really did teach me how
to be the best I could be.
There’s the man I chose, there’s my territory. And all the things I desire,
for being such a good girl…
He was the one I chose. He was the one I wanted to be with.
Until…
It hit. Crashing through our relationship like lightning through a sky, it came.
And with it followed anger.
Bitterness.
Regret.
I don’t know why we fought, I don’t know who started it.
But I know it was unexpected.
We never argue, we never fight.
Then why did we part?
Nights are so lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the
love that we had, and I’m missing you, but nobody knows it but me…
Now he’s gone. And with him, my heart. Instead of my heart, replaces anger.
And loneliness.
Think about all the times that we spent. Think about all the times I took you
back, ain’t no way I’ll be lonely, I don’t wanna let you back in, lets
just face it, rather walk alone and I wont turn back, you thought I would be
lonely. I don’t wanna let you back in.
I want to yell, scream, rave and rant. I want to tear him into pieces, but I
can’t. Because it would be like killing myself. So all I can do is sit here in
my room…
Sitting here alone up in my room, thinking about all the times that we went
through…oh my love. Staring at the picture in my hand, trying my best to
understand…
Cradeling the phone in my hands, my eyes wander to the picture on my nightstand.
The Crossroads Premiere.
I remember being so happy when he called me and told me he could make it. Him
showing up at my door was the best thing that I could have gotten at the
premiere of my movie.
“You’re Little Bo Peep, Brit.”
I laughed at him as I snuggled against the warmth of his chest. “And you’re
the sheep that follows me home?”
He grins and wraps his arms even closer.
“I’d go anywhere for you…”
Putting my hands arms on his protective embrace, I look up at him and smile.
“And to the press said you guys weren’t copying the Backstreet Boys.”
He laughs at me and begins tickling me, making me gasp for breath. After
pounding on his arms, he finally lets go and we tumble onto the bed. Hovering
over me, he looks down and whispers into my ear. “Well they said Christina
copied you, but I guess it was the other way around.”
I look at him, my _expression confused.
He lies down next to me and looks at me, trying hard to hide his smile.
“Didn’t you call and say ‘come on over, come on over baby…’”
Those days are gone. The ones that he would sing me to sleep. The days that I
would go to bed dreaming about him. They’re gone.
Gone… what will I do, if I can’t be with you, who will I turn to, baby I
love you…now that we are apart, you are still in my heart…
“Brit?”
I turn around and I see him standing there. God, how much if missed those eyes,
that face, those lips, that voice.
“J…”
He takes one step forward and cautiously puts his hands in his pockets.
Shoulders tense, he peers into my eyes.
“How are you?”
“Alright…” I mumble, apprehensive about his visit.
With both of us staring at one another, I can slowly see the courage build up in
his eyes, and the look that he is about to speak.
“Brit…Please before you say anything, hear me out.”
That wasn’t what I expected. I never thought he would just come out with it.
But I nod my head and prepare my self for his words, whatever they may be.
“I’m sorry Brit. I am. I’d do anything to get you back, and I’m so
sorry…” with those words, he sinks to the floor, onto his knees, pleading
with me.
While part of my just wants to take him into my arms, the other part of me, the
part that was bruised and battered, speaks up.
“J…why? Why did you do it?”
He drags his hands through his abundant curls and takes a deep breath. “I
couldn’t take it Brit, I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t your fault,
it really wasn;t. I just…I mean the guys always went out clubbin’ and I
never went. Because I had you. And I didn’t need anything else. But I got
jealous. I was jealous of the fact that they guys could go out, have a great
time and not even think about the consequences…”
Immediately my thoughts fly to Joey and Kelly, but the look in his eyes tells me
to just listen.
“I’m the youngest one and yet they get to go out and do whatever. I love you
Brit, I really do. But you were so busy, and I was so busy. We didn’t have
time. I didn’t want you to be flying around the world, and have me here by
myself, missing you like crazy, while the other guys got to go out and have fun.
I wanted that.”
“You didn’t want responsibility.” I say, cutting in.
He takes a deep breath and nods. “I didn’t want the responsibility… and
I’m sorry…Brit, please…forgive me.”
“You didn’t want the responsibility then, what happens when you don’t want
it again.” I say, harsher than I wanted.
He looks at me with the strong pleading in his eyes, assuring me that he is
telling the truth. “I want it Brit. I need it. And I need you…”
I need you like water like breath like rain, I need you like mercy from
heaven’s gates, there’s a freedom in you arms that carries me through, I
need you.
I bring him up from his knees for a bittersweet kiss, pouring my heart and soul
into him. My tears mix with his, as we both share this moment of reconciliation
and allow one another back into our hearts, our souls. And at this moment, I
feel whole.
“I love you J…Forever.”
He takes me fully into his arms and I lean my head against my chest. “I love
you too Brit…forever…I promise…”
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...