Never Again

Stepping into the room I realized that I've been living here for the longest with my girlfriend...yet it doesn't seem as though it's a home. I feel this is hell that I'm in, I walk into the kitchen, bedroom, hell even bathroom and a fucking argument is sure as hell to surface. I can't stand it it's driving me insane, trust me I love her with all my heart more than anyone can know. Yet I can't be around because tears and regretful words appear in less than five seconds. I watch her walk towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me softly on the lips. She pulls away stares into my eyes lovingly...same routine for the last 6 months. I smile at her softly staring into her chocolate brown eyes and press my fingers against her waistline.

"I love you" she whispers. I nod my head knowingly and whisper the exact same words.

"You seem to get more beautiful each more as I see you"

"It's only because you're not home everyday anymore" And there it begins, leading to the same exact thing, before it gets any further than that I raise both of my hands and shut her up.

"Don't do this please, I beg of you to not start I'm stressed out, I need to go to sleep, my head is pounding and I really do not need this right now" I mumble.

"Are you cheating on me?" she asks. I stand there shocked to even hear those words coming out of her lips that I've kissed so much.

"Britney, baby please look I'm tired all I want is to go to sleep..."

"No Justin I'm tired of this, you come home late and then early in the morning you leave...it's just stupid I'm not..."I quickly interrupt her pressing my forefinger on her lips.

"Shut up okay? Look I don't...I don't want to start this already again I'm getting tired of this thing every fucking day. Just leave me alone right now" I tell her, I can see her begin to cry so I quickly make my way towards her. I wrap my arms around her small body and kiss her forehead.

"Look I'm sorry for all of this, it's just right now I want to be alone and rest okay? That's all I'm asking for nothing more nothing less" She pulls away from me and stares into my eyes nodding her head slowly.

"Okay" She mumbles. I pull away and walk up the stairs, before I make it to the top her voice stops me.

"Do you love me?" she asks. I turn around slowly and stare down at her.

"Baby, I do...I love you more than anything else in the world" I make it to the bedroom and lay down on the bed closing my eyes going to sleep.

A few hours later

I make my way downstairs and see her sitting down on the couch; I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her.

"Hey" I whisper. She turns her head towards me and kisses my lips softly. A thought enters my mind causing me to pull away. She stares into my eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asks worried. I feel an instant pain run through my heart, knowing that what I'm supposed to do is right...yet my mind disagrees.

"Nothing baby, I just wanted to stare at you...that's all" I make my way around the couch and pull her towards me. She rests her head on my thigh and sighs. I stare at her closely, taking everything in...All the good memories and the I love you's we've exchanged throughout our time together.

Few weeks later

Nothing has changed and I've felt it, I've felt tears streaming down both of our faces. Her cries are still evident throughout the night, her words are still hurting and I can see her eyes slowly dying on me. I can tell that we're both tired of this pain that we've caused each other these last few months. I love her, I need her, I want her, but I have to let her go for us to be able to be okay again. What I'm going to do I might regret, but later in life I know that it was the best thing I could've done for both of us. I step into the house we've shared for so long, she walks up to me and before she does anything or says anything I take her in my arms and kiss her passionately, more than I've ever done before. I try to fight the urge of crying because one of us at least has to be brave in this. I feel her tense up, but soon relaxes against my touch. I whisper I love you for the last time and pull away. Her eyes still closed I pull her away from that trance in less than a minute.

"I don't want to be with you anymore" I whisper. She stares at me surprised, her tears already falling down her face.

"What?" she asks surprised.

"I can't be with you anymore, I love you...but I can't stand here everyday trying to ignore the fact that this relationship is falling apart I can't. It's driving me crazy and I can't ignore the pain that I feel inside which I'm getting tired of. I have to let you go now, and...I'm not turning back anymore because it'll only make it worse...sorry but I want this relationship to end" I whisper. She takes a step back and wraps her own arms around her self. I feel like running towards her and hugging her, holding her telling her that all the things that I said were just a big bad joke, but no...I have to end it right here right now. , no matter what the consequences.

"I hate you" she mumbles. I nod my head.

"I'm going to send someone for my things later on...bye Britney" I turn around and turn the knob and step out into the cold winter night, finally letting all these tears run down my face.

You may never see me again,

And I may never see you again

And I know that it's hard for you

To walk away from this,

I've seen you cry all night, and it kills

Me more everyday Try to forget the memories

The I love you's we've exchanged and move on.

I know that you may hate me right now, but in

Time you'll thank me I know. Leave all this behind

Don't come back anymore I'm tired of this pain.

You may never see me again, and I may never see you

Again I know that it seems as though everything came

Crashing down before you.

Please don't say "see you soon" just say goodbye until

Forever, it may make you shed tears, but please lock

Them away this is the end of the road, the end of what

We had and I'm sorry for pushing you away.

I never paid attention to you, but you always stayed besides me

I took you for granted and hurt you in the process. Just close the

Door behind you, and forget about me, find someone who will love

You don't believe that we'll be together again because...

You may never see me again, and I may never see you again and I know

That it's hard for you to walk away from this. Just don't look back, just

Don't say I love you, don't dream of me, and please don't hesitate just keep on

Moving don't make this harder than it already is.