Now and Forever

Now and Forever
SS by Ricassa

“What I can write about next?” Britney asks herself as she nibbles on the eraser of her pencil. She doesn’t realize how disgusting it looks until she tried to erase a mistake on her paper.

Her hair was pinned up by a single barrette and several strands fell down on her cheeks every few minutes. Her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought when she considered all of the time this might take. She needed some new songs for her CD coming out in the fall. And right now, she had no inspiration. Except for one characteristic, her anger.

Now and Forever

You are a part of me

And the memory cuts like a knife

Didn't we find the ecstasy

Didn't we share the daylight

When you walked into my life

Now and forever I will remember

All the promises still unbroken

And think about all the words between us

That never needed to be spoken

Months of dealing with the press treating her like garbage, not to mention the remarks her ex-beau was selling to the magazines. Each reporter bought it. Not to mention every Justin Timberlake fan in the world, and even some of hers.

“Maybe if I take a nice hot bath, that might get the creative juices flowing.” She thought to herself.

She turned on the hot water and poured some bubbles into the water. Grabbing her pencil and notebook paper, she laid them down on the side of the tub while she undressed.

We had a moment

Just one moment

That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime

We are the lucky ones

Some people never get to do

All we got to do

Now and forever

I will always think of you

Surrendering her body to the hot, bubbly, and steamy water was the best idea she could have thought of. She grabbed her pencil and notebook paper and began to think about the past year and a half. The humility she went through, the pressures, the demands, the scrutiny, everything.

There was only one thing that came to her mind every time though. Sinking further down into the bottom of the tub, she closed her eyes and narrowed the ideas. Revenge. Ah, that would make a perfect topic for a song. He did it; he practically told her that it was okay if she returned the favor.

So she began to write what she felt. Everything inside her was being poured onto the paper and translated from emotions into words.

Didn't we come together

Didn't we live together

Didn't we cry together

Didn't we play together

Didn't we love together

And together we lit up the world

“You spread lies,

You thought they would deceive,

But while you sing about your midnight cries,

Your heartbreak, I will not receive,

Don’t say you want me back now,

Don’t say you love me true,

Cause my heart isn’t down now,

I guess that’s new to you,”

She reviewed her lines over and over; editing what she thought might be too harsh. She never would attempt to hurt his feelings. She never could. No matter what he wrote or said about her, she still respected him more than anyone.

Her CD player sat right next to the bathtub, plugged up. She had been listening to a different variety of music. JC had told her that if you opened your mind to new sounds that make you feel comfortable, you’ll always be true to yourself and you will expand your fan base.

Finding a CD that truly inspired her and made her feel more comfortable was a great suggestion. Instead of something R&B like some her contemporaries, she chose to listen to No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom”. Jansen was the one who leant her the CD and she was addicted from the minute “Spiderwebs” played.

I miss the tears

I miss the laughter

I miss the day we met and all that followed after

Sometimes I wish I could always be with you

The way we used to do

Ooooohhh

The one song that really brought out her emotional side had to have been “Don’t Speak.” It had brought back memories of the good days, the days when she wasn’t lonely and desperate. When she knew she wouldn’t have to date Fred Durst to impress him. He was happy being with her and vise versa.

She just wished she could be next to him forever.

“Here I go again. I’m letting myself get caught in the moment.”

After a few minutes, she decided to hang up on the bath and the writing for the night. Hell, she had put it off the entire winter; she could wait for another season to come. Maybe there will be something else to inspire her. Something more positive.

For now, she’ll just settle with a nice romance novel and her own thoughts and dreams. Dreams about the future. Dreams about the past. Dreams about the man that will haunt her every hour.

She might not have found her fairytale ending, but the final chapter in her romance novel is just beginning.

Now and forever

I will always think of you

Now and forever

I will always be with you