My Weakness Caused You Pain
SS by Diane

Part 1

Justin's POV

My heart stops.

"Britney Spears gets married with childhood friend Jason Allen Alexander in Vegas Saturday morning at the Little White Chapel. The marriage ended as soon as it started. An annulment is said to be signed and ready to be confirmed on Monday." FOX news reported.

I can't speak. I can't move a muscle. I can't even feel anything.

What the hell is going on.

What the fuck was she thinking going off to Vegas and getting married?

I swallow hard and shake my head slowly as headlines of the marriage was on news after news.

Jason.

I know him, we've met before at Britney's 18th birthday party and I’ve seen him a couple of times after that.

Did she really have feelings for this guy?

Suddenly, a twinge of jealousy shoots through me.

What's up with me? I shake a little bit.

Why the fuck am I like this.

I've moved on. I tell myself.

"Oh my god, Justin have you heard about.."

"Yes." I muttered underneath my breath, cutting Cameron's sentence off.

"Oh. That was crazy wasn't it." Cameron laughs shaking her head.

I ignore her as my eyes are glued to the tv screen.

She rubs her hand on my shoulder and watched the tv.

I'm shocked and most of all, confused.

Was she drunk?

No, they said she was sober.

How could she do something like this?

What was she thinking?

The media's going to go crazy.

I cringe as I they call Jason her husband, or soon to be ex husband.

After a few more minutes of blankly watching the news, I sigh and turn the tv off.

I look up to see Cameron with a look of worry in her face.

I smile slightly trying to ease the tension.

"I.. I'll be right back. I need to call someone." I stutter.

I really need my mom right now.

"Are you ok, Justin?" Cameron asks reaching for my hand.

I smile at her softly as I stood up off the couch.

"Yeah." I kiss her cheek and make my way to the kitchen.

I grab the phone and dial my mom's familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Mom." I sighed.

"Oh honey. You must've heard about it." She said softly.

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"Mom what's going on?"

"I don't know, Justin." She said with sadness in her voice.

"I..I.. I'm angry at her mom. I'm upset.. I'm.. jealous." My voice shook.

"Jealous of what? That she got married first? Or that she married a different man?" Lynne questioned.

"I don't know. I guess that.. She married someone else.. first." I furrowed my eyebrows taking in what I just said.

"Justin. All I can tell you is to listen to your heart. Your mind might be saying something different but it's your heart that you should trust in the most." Lynne said comfortingly.

I nodded although I knew she could not see me.

"Ok mom, I need to think some things straight. Thanks for everything."

"All right baby. Anytime." Lynn smiled hoping her son would do what she hoped for.

"Love ya."

"I love you sweetie. Take Care." Lynn hung up the phone and prayed to God that this would be it.

I went up to my room to think things through.

I know what I had to do and what I should do.

I love Cameron but I'm not in love with her. Britney, I love her more than life itself and I always will. I miss her too much it hurts.

I know I need to break this boulder I built over my heart to keep myself from hurting too much thinking about her. 

Now it's about time I find my true happiness.

Maybe this bizarre marriage of hers was a sign.

My heart breaks as I struggled to find a way to tell Cameron.

I walk back into the living room to find Cameron slouching comfortably on the couch watching tv.

"Hey." I said softly kissing her on the cheek. "We need to talk."

Cameron furrowed her eyebrows and stared at me trying to read what was on my mind.

"Baby, what is it?" She pats my leg encouraging me to go on.

I take in a deep breath.

"Cameron. You know I love you and I'd never do anything to hurt you. But, something has happened that made me realize something I should've a long time ago." I look down nervously at my hands.

"It's her isn't it." Cameron said as I looked up to see tears glazing at her eyes. "It's Britney."

I grew silent for few seconds.

"Well. Yeah." I admitted struggling for words.

Cameron shakes her head.

"I'm really sorry."

"Justin. Go to that girl. Follow your heart." Cameron said tears slowly running down her cheeks.

"What?" I choke out.

"You heard me. Your heart's not with me, I know that now. You may love me but you're in love with Britney and you always will be. I can't change that and I want you to be happy. Go." She said smiling weakly.

"I.. Thank you." I move in closer to give her a hug.

"I'll go pack my bags. Take care, Justin." Cameron wiped away at her tears as she stood up to get her stuff.

I book the quickest flight to Vegas.

On the plane that same night, I'm nervous as hell. I don't know what exactly I'm going to say.

I walk up to the counter of the hotel I heard she was staying in.

"Hi. Can you give me the room number for Miss Britney Spears please?" I ask nervously.

The man at the desk looks at me with wide eyes.

"Yes sir. Ms. Spears is staying in room 1205." The man smiles up at Justin.

"Thanks." I nod.

I make my way to the elevator and close my eyes.

Britney's POV

My mom paces up and down the room as she glares at me.

"Mama, you don't understand." I muttered.

"How could I understand, Britney? You would never do such a thing like this. I thought I raised you better than this." Lynne frowns and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry." I say softly as tears slowly start to form in my eyes again.

"A sorry is not going to fix anything. Do you know what's going to happen? The media's already going crazy with this. Hell, they'll never stop. Britney you need to think before you do your actions." She looks at me with a worried face.

My tears fall faster as my shoulders start to shake.

"Mama, I don't know what I'm going to do." I whimpered.

"Oh honey. There's nothing you could do about it now. Just think of a statement you and Jason can make together." Lynne walks over to Britney hunched over on the couch and holds her daughter tightly.

I remain in my mother's arms for warmth and protection.

She slowly pulled away and lifted my chin up.

"It'll be okay. We can get through this." She placed a kiss on my cheek and stood up.

"I'm going downstairs to get some coffee, you want some?"

I nod and bury my face in my knees as I hear the door close.

A few minutes later, I hear the door open again.

"Mama?" I said looking up to see if she forgot something.

My heart stops as I see who is walking towards me.

Justin's POV

I'm so nervous as I walk down the hallway nearer her room.

I stood in front of her door for a few minutes with my fist raised inches from the door ready to knock.

I jump as the door opens.

Lynne's eyes widen as she puts her hand over her mouth and closes the door softly behind her.

"Hi Lynne." I say softly smiling weakly.

"Justin." She breathed still with a shocked expression on her face.

"Please Justin. She's already in so much pain right now after everything. Don't do or say anything that'll upset her any more." Lynne says sympathetically.

"I won't." I say reassuring her.

"What are you doing here if you don't mind me asking." She said her eyes piercing through mine.

"I'm following my heart."

Lynne opens her mouth and smiles brightly.

"That's great. Good luck and I know my daughter so don't give up on her. You know how that stubbornness of hers get." She softly chuckles.

"She's going to be stuck with me from now on no matter what." I smile.

Lynne nods then embraced Justin.

"We missed you." She smiles softly. "Now go in there and my baby happy."

"I missed you all too, so much." I say sadly. "And I will."

"Well I'm off to get some stuff downstairs so you two do whatever." She winks.

"Ok, thanks Lynne." I chuckle.

Ok this is it, I thought.

I open the door slowly and look around the suite to try to find her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure hunched on the couch in the living room.

"Mama?" I hear her say so softly.

I take a deep breath as I slowly make my way towards her.

My heart breaks as I see her, curled up, knees up to her chin, and her face buried in her knees.

When I was a couple of feet in front of her, she finally looked up.

Her eyes widen and her face is in total shock as she sees me.

My heart breaks more to see her red, tear stained face, all the while still looking beautiful.

We didn't move or speak for a couple of seconds, just staring at each other.

"Justin. What are you doing here?" Her voice breaking.

I move in closer to her and smile softly. "You got married."

She buried her face back in her knees.

"No, no, that's not exactly why I came here Britney." I bend down on my knees and touch her shoulder, making her look at me.

"Justin, what do you want?" Pain was written all over her eyes.

"Brit, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry all the pain I've caused you, for everything I’ve said over the past year and a half. I did not mean to hurt you. God Brit, I'd never want to cause you pain." My voice cracks as I stare deeply into those chocolate brown eyes I've missed too much.

Tears start to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry too." She says so softly her voice breaking with each word.

I lean up and wrap my arms around her.

I feel right where I should be.

Britney sobs into my chest.

"Shh baby girl. It'll be ok." I kiss her forehead and hold her tightly against me.

A few minutes after she calmed down, she lifted her head up off my shirt and wiped at her eyes.

"I got to use the bathroom." She stood up abruptly leaving me sitting there stunned.

I watch her walk to the bathroom and lock the door.

I close my eyes and place my head in my hands rubbing my temple.

What if she doesn't want me anymore.

What if she's not ready to work out a relationship again.

I shudder as I think of my last thought.

What if she really moved on.

Britney's POV

I'm so confused right now my head hurts.

I sit on the edge of the tub and rub my face.

What should I do?

I'm so afraid of getting hurt again.

But I do, no doubt still really love Justin.

Can we really make it work out this time?

I need him now more than anything.

All this incident that’s happened in the day or two is killing me and I can't face the world alone.

I sniff and jerk my head towards the door as I hear him knock.

"Brit.. Are you ok? Please talk to me." He pleaded.

I just sit there watching the door and I know he's leaning against it with his face in his hands.

I honestly don't know what to feel or do.

After a few more minutes of recollecting my thoughts, I wash my face on the sink and wipe a towel over my face.

I slowly make my way to the door and carefully unlock it turning the knob with shaky fingers.

The first thing I see is J's tear streaked face his baby blue eyes shining at me.

All I want to do is wrap my arms around him and let him hold me.

But instead, I look at him briefly putting my head down.

"Justin. We need to talk." I said weakly.

From the corner of my eyes I see him nod as he stares at me.

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