A Moment Like This
SS by Brandy

"Well…?"

"Well what?"

"What do you think?" He motions around the room inundated with different color balloons and streamers.

I think I shouldn't be here. But I won't dare tell him that. I lightly tap my fingers on the plush fabric of the couch. I then ask a question.

"So is JC picking him up from the airport?" Chris grabs the off brand disposable camera from the coffee table then looks down to meet my gaze.

"Yeah, they should be here any minute now…" He began to fumble with the camera, muttering to himself. "Does JC always have to be this cheap? My God." I smirk slightly. I decide I might as well make myself useful for the time being. Maybe it will keep my mind off of the upcoming few hours of my life.

"Are you sure we don't need any more drinks?" Chris' tone showers with exasperation.

"Britney if we had more soda, everyone would be peeing on themselves." I start to speak up again. "And before you say anything else, Johnny and Erica have already picked up the ice cream, cake, and cookies. We've got chips and snacks in the pantry. Face it kid, you're not going anywhere." He rubs my shoulder and smiles sympathetically. I immediately brush him off.

"Don't be so dramatic Brit. It isn't going to be that bad." I raise my voice as to ensure him a complete understanding of the words leaping from my mouth.

"Do you have any idea how excruciatingly painful this is for me? Still friends, my ass. We haven't talked to each other, I mean really had a conversation in months. How am I suppose to react when he comes waltzing in here…pretend like we are okay when that is far from the truth? What is there I can possibly say to him after everything that has happened?" Suddenly I hear a door open and a jubilant, familiar sound rings out.

"You can say that you love me and missed me while I was away." A figure looms behind me and I turn to face the man with a small grin adorning his face.

"Hey Lance!" I instantly brighten and jump into his outstretched arms. A few feet away Chris blows into a paper party favor.

"Brit, it's so good to see you." He gave me a squeeze. Chris pretends to be hurt by our display of affection.

"Where's my hug?" He asks innocently. Lance laughs and embraces one of the four men who know him best.

"So where did your chauffeur go?" Chris jokes amicably.

"Right here." JC's voice is muffled through the doorway as he carries Lance's luggage into the room. "You know, I should honestly get paid for all the hard labor I've had to endure with this guy." He points to Lance.

"You certainly don't need the money if you keep on buying this crap." Chris comments as he eyes the camera on the table. JC relieves himself of the heavy suitcases and turns to Chris.

"What…?" He seems confused. I only shake my head, amused.

"Nothing JC…just nothing." At that time, Lance realizes that two particular people are conspicuously absent from his modest 'Welcome Back' party.

"So where are Joey and Justin?" He questions.

"Joey still has his stint on Rent, but he told me to tell you that he wishes he could be here to celebrate and that he's proud of you, even though the space thing didn't work out." JC says as Lance chuckles to himself softly.

"That makes one of us…anyway what about Justin?" An eerie silence consumes the room and I know it is because of me. I instantly plaster a smile on my face and urge myself to be cheerful. I almost decide to answer Lance's question myself just to show that I am indeed 'okay' with the situation, but it would inevitably come out contrived. And I don't need to hear the whispering whenever I turn my back thinking that I can't handle something. Because I'm perfectly capable of doing so, well in fact. Hell I have been doing it for the past six months.

"He's steady working on promotions for his album, but he will definitely be here." Chris chimes in as Lance nods his head with approval.

"And the other guests should be arriving shortly, we just wanted to give you time to settle in before the chaos starts." I add.

"Cool. Can't wait." Lance says, hardly excited.


The guests arrive…

I notice that while the party livens, Lance becomes even more subdued. He sits in a corner watching as his guests celebrate for him. Worried, I walk over to him and plop myself down on the plastic chair beside his seat. For a minute, neither of us speaks.

"So Lance…are you enjoying yourself?" That was as good a place as any to strike up a conversation.

"Sure I am. Can't you tell?" He gives me a lopsided smile.

"Yes, you are just exuding with delight." I say sarcastically. "What's really going on with you?" He fiddles with his fingers.

"I'm just bummed…everyone has their special projects to shine on and look at me. I'm a washed out cosmonaut. The punch line of every joke. It's frustrating to feel like no one really cares." I try to cheer him up.

"Well you're special to me." I say with pride. He almost looks better now. Something catches his attention and he then motions to the door.

"Look who just showed up fashionably late." I know who it's going to be. And I shouldn't look. But I do anyway.

Justin Timberlake. A knot forms in my throat and stomach. Not an excited knot, like I am performing a new song and dance on stage, but the kind of knot where I wish I could be anywhere but where I am standing right now. The kind of knot that won't go away just by itself. And the knot known as my ex-boyfriend is the worst of them all. Lance notices my apprehension.

"You know what Britney? If you really want to avoid him, can you go and get some more bags of chips from the pantry? It looks like they are dwindling down out here." I contemplate on whether or not I should just run away from my predicament. It would make me seem weak after all. But then again, it's only ten minutes of weakness. If I was lucky he would leave early after speaking to the guys and I could enjoy myself some more.

"Sure thing." I quickly stride toward the doors of the kitchen and stroll to the back where the small pantry lay. I open the door and look at all of the snacks inside as the door shuts behind me automatically. I am only in here for a few minutes looking at the array of food (I can be very indecisive at times) when the door opens again. I am startled by the presence before me. He comes in silently and again the door closes.

"Justin get out of here." I firmly command, grabbing bags of Ruffles off of the wooden shelves. Justin scratches his head.

"I can't." I freeze and glare at him.

"Why not?" He shrugs.  

"Lance told me to bring some more cans of dip out to the party."

"Why didn't he just tell me to bring the dip out as well?" I ask suspiciously.

"Maybe he thought you couldn't carry it all?" Justin suggests. I roll my eyes at him and the idea. I move toward the door a few feet away.

"Well he thought wrong and I can handle this on my own." I say defiantly and with my free hand, usher Justin to the door. He eyes me carefully, sighs, and proceeds to turn the doorknob. I wait expectantly.

"What's wrong?" He continues to turn the knob.

"I can't…It won't open." I stare at his back with disbelief.

"What do you mean it won't open? It opened for me and for you obviously." The nervousness is evident in my voice.

"I mean the door is jammed or something." He states. The color instantly drains from my face and Justin soon realizes the familiar predicament we are in.

"Or locked." I whisper. Justin stutters out his words.

"This…uh this could…be…a…potential uh…problem."

"No shit." I push him aside and frantically begin to pound on the door and it makes a huge echoing booming noise.

"Help us! Unlock the door!" I shout at the top of my lungs as Justin leans back on the shelf and watches.

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Meanwhile at the party…

"I think I hear screaming coming from the back." JC comments to Lance over the loud dance music. Lance takes the last gulp from his soda and throws it in the garbage can nearby.

"I don't hear anything." He remarks. JC furrows his eyebrows.

"No, listen closer." He urges as Lance looks deep in thought.

"Nope, don't hear a thing." JC suddenly giggles hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Lance wonders while JC reminisces.

"I just remember that day about a year and a half ago when we were all here at the Compound and the four of us came in here looking for Justin and we heard screaming coming from the kitchen area?" Lance remembers.

"To think we thought someone was actually getting hurt in there…"

"Well you never know." Lance winks, laughing along with JC.

"I miss those days." JC sighs.

"Yeah. But with today, it seemed like they were getting a little uncomfortable around each other, so I sent Justin out to get some more dip at the corner store and Britney to buy some more chips. It will be good for them, you know. To get some fresh air." Lance smiles.

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"Oh my God, I'm getting claustrophobic." I wipe my forehead, already dripping of sweat from the close quarters. Justin snickers.

"What was that for?" He grins and shakes his head.

"You're such a drama queen." I scoff at him.

"I'm such a drama queen?" I clear my throat and wipe away nonexistent tears from my cheeks.

" 'It gets to a point where you're crying yourself to sleep at night…Something happened, something very bad happened…I would never do anything to degrade or disrespect her'…blah, blah, blah." My eyes narrow.

"I meant everything that I've said." Justin insists.

"Really? So there's nothing going on between you and Jenna. Or you and Alyssa. Or even Janet?" I wait for him to answer, but he doesn't reply.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I distance myself from him and sit on the floor of the room. Minutes pass in silence. Suddenly Justin speaks.

"Do you want some chips and dip?" He asks timidly. "There's French Onion, your favorite." Wordlessly I hold my hand out for the food. He plops down across from me and we eat without talking.

"Lance is a clever one, isn't he? Already back to his old tricks and such." Justin says.

"I just don't understand why someone else hasn't heard me yelling by now." I comment, dipping a chip in French Onion. Justin looks at me incredulously.

"You don't remember about us?"

"No." Obviously I have drawn a complete blank.

"Yes you do. The time the guys came rushing in here after hearing some, uh noises and we were in here together and…" He trails off. A light bulb goes off in my head and I instantly blush.

"Oh. Yeah that." Justin looks at me curiously.

"Do you honestly not think about that stuff anymore?" I shrug, not meeting his gaze.

"Sure I do." Actually everything dealing with Justin Timberlake had been locked in a tiny part of my brain that is shut off. Hopefully permanently.

"You never wish we could go back to those days?" He presses on. I think about how to answer.

"Everyone has wishes. Most of them don't come true."

"They do if you want them enough." He says this quietly and I don't know how to react. A man that once held my whole heart, whose every touch, every whisper, every look, tingled in my bones and got a rise out of me every time. I no longer felt those reactions to him. Or maybe…?

"There's a difference between what you want and what you need." I state. Justin groans.

"Damnit Britney, when did you become so cynical?"

"When did you become the poster child for Playboy?"

"When did you feel like you had to tell the whole world every single detail of our relationship?" By now we were shouting.

"When did you change?" I retorted leaving him aghast. He relaxes and speaks softly.

"I never changed, Brit." I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Yes you did. Maybe you didn't notice, but I did. I wasn't able to connect with you anymore." Justin wiped his eyes.

"How was I supposed to know all of this Brit? You never talked to me, you always kept things bottled up inside of you until it was too late and then we would have an argument. Except this time we broke up." I push a strand of hair from my face.

"How dare you say that? I always communicated to you how I was feeling." Justin sets aside the half-eaten bag of chips and the rest of the dip.

"Correction, you always communicated to the magazines, the news reports, the interviews what you were feeling. I always got left in the dark." I turn away from him shaking my head, not wanting him to see me cry.

"That's not true." He grabs my hands and forces me to look at him. I stare in his azure colored eyes.

"Why does there always have to be a right and wrong, black and white with you? For once why can't there be an in between, a gray?" He gently wipes away a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb. He seems sincere and surprisingly I am as well.  

"You have some onion dip on your mouth." I tell him sniffling, wiping it away slowly and savoring the feel of his skin against my finger. He licks his lips.

"Thanks." I sigh.

"We are so fucked up."  He gives me a soft smile.

"That we are, my dear."


Outside of the pantry…

"The party's over now. Think they've been in there long enough?" JC asks.

"Well she stopped screaming a long time ago, I take that as they haven't killed each other." Says Lance. "Hey Chris, got the camera?"

"Yeah." He whispers. The three guys creep up to the door and Lance puts the key in the lock and quietly turns it. He flings the door wide open.

Gasp.

Scream.

"Say cheese!" Lance shouts as Chris snaps a photograph.

"Hey JC, looks like your piece of crap actually works!" He smiles wickedly, as Lance and JC look onward at the sight of a disheveled Justin with his shirt off and a messy-haired version of myself with my skirt unbuttoned, and we are sitting on the floor of the pantry. Both of us are flushed and a tad bit embarrassed and mortified to say the least. 

"That's definitely going in the next issue of US Weekly." Chris' eyes gleam with mischief.

It was then that I realize that no matter what issues you have with a certain person, you can't deny some things.

A moment like this?

Is priceless.