I'm Going to Miss Her
SS by Ing

It had been a day like so many others the past few months, or so I had thought. I didn't think this one could get much worse. All I wanted to do was to get home, to get home to her. To take her in my arms again.

When I first made my way through the door, it was strangely quiet, something I wasn't quite used or at very least not yet. I would usually find music playing, or the television on, even perhaps a warm greeting waiting for me. Needless to say finding the lights off and the silence a bit unnerving. Working my way through the darkness to the kitchen. Flipping the switch, the lights above the counter came to life, and there it lay.

My heart stopped for a moment before my natural defenses kicked in. Turning to put my bag down, my jacket over a chair before retrieving a glass. Grabbing a beer from the fridge and taking a drink hoping the lone piece of paper would disappear but it didn't, that it wasn't really even there.

It was still there when I looked up again. Walking over to open the long shades to the terrace. My beautiful city before me, the lights twinkling, alive in their own right. The buildings standing as quiet sentinels. Retrieving the note, taking a seat facing out to view the last few moments of twilight playing over this magical place before night claimed it for another evening.

The ambient light that filtered in from half a room away let me see the words. I'd like to say I read them but I couldn't. I knew the meaning of each word, and why they were there but I couldn't accept them at first.

Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. "In Re the Marriage of Justin Randall Timberlake and Britney Jean Spear Timberlake". [Florida Statutes Annotated; Chapter 61.043].


In my mind I started to recall every precious moment I spent with her. Images and sound flood back to me. The award shows, the movie premieres the television appreances.The fact she could excite all my senses. She could wear something barely there or she cover herself from head to toe but she had me. The comfort she gave, the twinkle in her eye. Every tender caress, every soft whisper, every laugh and smile. Everything that was her. Remembering how she could take my breath away with just a look. How I would watch her cross the room, a saunter more than a walk. The woman and the girl battling to get free. Her sweetness and sensuality, a delightful balance, all without effort

Before my eyes the night charged in as it always did. Through the inky blackness and midnight blue, stars, though not many, could be barely seen... that is, if I had been looking of course. The moon, softly aglow, making its' way across the sky, steady and even, its' path set.

How I lost as much time as I did is beyond me. Surprised that a whole evening can melt away if you let it... and I did. The time I sat there I just thought about her, what she meant to me.

Surely this was the first of many nights to come, nights I would walk the halls at all hours. To stand on the terrace and peer out in to the darkness to the east. For the most part, I felt, well I felt lucky to just to have known her, loved her as I did even if it was for a little while. Though I respected her for her decision, still I couldn't help feel a little sad and that a part of me, a part of me that made me a better person, was gone. I quickly brushed away those selfish thoughts, realizing that it was her happiness that mattered and was concerned for

The golden arc of the sun was beginning to lick at the edges of the place I call home. Sending the message that a new day was here. Perhaps as just an assurance, the warmth felt good on my face.

"... yeah... I'm going to miss her ." I sad knowing that she had tried to hold on. We both had. At that moment the tears that I had been holding back all night fell as I could hear her words that she spoke to me when she left the last time. She tried to tell me it was no one's fault. But in my heart of hearts I knew what she was doing. She was giving me a way out.

Thinkin' back in time
Someone said that love was blind
But they were wrong
You just choose not to see me

When it's right before your eyes
You'd rather compromise
Then give your all
Then it don't turn out
The way it's supposed to be


Time and time again you disappoint
When she believes
Just do your best
And give her what she needs
And...

[Chorus]
Cherish her love
Show her she's right where she belongs
Take care of her heart
Before she's gone
Cherish her love

It might be hard to conceive
You gotta see the forest
Despite the trees
Before it all burns down

Not tellin' ya nothing you don't know
But she'll let you have your fun
But when a woman's done when she's done
And then she'll go
Just when you're needin' her the most

Time and time again you disappoint
When she believes
Do all you can
To give her what she needs

[Chorus]

And if you care about the weather
Keep her safe and warm
Let nothing in between stand in your way
They say it's calm inside the eye of the storm
Together come whatever
Come what may
Just...

[Chorus]