My Childhood Friend
SS by Rose

Author's Note: Justin and Britney are both in it (however they are not a couple)

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, put on a pair of tennis shoes and walked out my front door.  I was in love with my childhood friend and today was the day I was going to tell him.

Justin had broken up with Britney, another friend of ours, a few days before.  I knew that nothing would happen between us because he was just getting out of a relationship but I also knew that I had to tell him.

I walked the two blocks to his parents’ house where he was staying while his apartment was repainted.  I let myself in like I always had.  Over the years his parents had accepted me as family and I always walked in without knocking and helped myself to whatever they might have in the refrigerator.  In the living room Lynn and Paul were watching TV.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Paul asked me.

“I just came to see Justin.  Where’s he at?”

“He’s in the bedroom with Britney.  I think they’re talking about what happened.”

“Oh,” I said feeling deflated.  “Well, I’m just going to go poke my head in and tell him I stopped by.”

I walked down the hall to his bedroom.  The door was open so I went inside.  Justin was leaning against his dresser with his arms crossed.  “Where’s Britney?” I asked him.  He pointed angrily in the direction of the sliding glass door that led to the small balcony off of his room.

I walked out and saw Britney sitting on the wooden floor boards crying.  “Hey, Brit, what’s wrong?” I asked moving toward her.

“It’s Justin,” she answered.  “He’s fighting with me.  He won’t let me leave.  I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me.”  I didn’t believe Justin would ever hurt a woman physically but I did believe that Britney thought he was going to.

Justin walked out then and Britney seemed to shudder.  “Justin can I please go inside?” she asked not looking at him until she finished speaking.  I couldn’t believe she felt she had to ask permission to go inside the house.  Justin nodded his head and I helped her up and into the bedroom.

Just as we were walking through the door Jared was walking into the room from the other door.  Justin came in behind us and saw Jared.  Immediately he started for him.

As he was coming past me I could see rage in Justin’s eyes so I did the only thing I could think of.  I grabbed him by the shoulders from behind and tried to hold him back.  For some reason he didn’t struggle much but it still took all my strength to hold onto him.  I think now that deep down he realized he likely would have hurt me as well as Jared had he really fought to get away.

He was yelling at Jared.  Asking him how he could do that and when it was exactly that he became a back stabber.  Jared was saying, “Let me explain.  I was drunk.”  Because of the situation I didn’t grasp much of what was being said.  Most of what I did catch I didn’t understand.

Britney was sitting against the wall crying harder than before.  “Please stop it,” she was saying.  I think I’m the only one that heard her.

Paul walked into the room and the interruption caused the argument to subside for a moment.  He tried to ask what was going on but he only received more shouting in answer to his question.  He tried to take Jared out to the living room but Justin followed dragging me along with him.

Changing rooms solved nothing.  The dispute only continued.  Suddenly my bladder felt like it was going to burst.  “Paul, please hold onto him.  I have to pee so bad,” I asked him.

Before he could answer me Justin snapped his head around to look at me from the corner of his eye.  “No.  Stay here,” he practically demanded.

“But, Justin, I can’t wait.”  I could tell that if I left him the fight would turn physical so I told him, “Come with me while I go.”  I turned him in the direction of the bathroom, left go of his shoulders and let him walk down the narrow hallway in front of me.

In the bathroom he politely turned his back to me.  “Justin, what’s wrong?” I asked him.

“I should have told somebody instead of holding it in,” he said.  This is why Britney and I broke up.  She cheated on me with him.”  I was dumbfounded.  He hadn’t told anyone.  He only said that things weren’t working out between them.

I flushed the toilet and Justin turned around to face me.  He had tears in his eyes.  I turned on the faucet to wash my hands and asked, “What exactly happened.

“I don’t know.  I never gave either of them the chance to explain.  I tried to talk to Britney today.  That’s why I asked her to come over.  We went out on the balcony to talk but she wouldn’t tell me much.  She just started crying and she clammed up.  I got mad and yelled at her.  I told her she wasn’t leaving until she told me everything.  I told her I’d be in the bedroom, to come get me when she was ready to talk.  Then I left her out there.  I think I really scared her.”

“You did,” I told him.  “I think she was afraid you were going to hurt her physically.”

His eyes widened.  “Oh, God, no.  I mean I was angry and upset, I still I am, but I wasn’t going to throw her over the balcony or anything.”

“Stay here a minute,” I said to him.  I left the bathroom, went to his bedroom and poked my head inside.  “Brit?”  She was still sitting on the floor.  I went to the wall, leaned against it and slid down so I was sitting next to her.

“I talked to Justin.  He realizes now how much he scared you.  He told me what happened, Brit.  It’s none of my business unless one of you makes it my business.  But Justin is my friend.  I grew up with him and I don’t want to see him hurt.  He needs answers.  He’s probably starting to think that he does something wrong that causes his girlfriends to do this to him.  I’m going to send him in so you two can talk.  Then I’m going to go get rid of Jared for now.  Justin will have to talk to him later.  Then I’m going to come back and sit in the hall in case either of you need me.  Britney, when he comes in tell him the truth and don’t leave anything out.”

She spoke for the first time since I entered the room.  “I won’t.  You’ll be right outside?”

“Yes, but I don’t think you’ll need me.”

I left the room and went back down the hall.  Justin was standing at the sink looking into the mirror somberly.  “Justin, she’s ready to talk to you.  This time just stay calm and listen to her.  Find out what you need to know and then just try to let this whole thing go.”

I went back to the living room with Justin following me as far as the bedroom.   I grabbed Jared by the arm and took him onto the front porch.  “Justin told me what happened,” I told him.  “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Britney.  None of this is my business unless one of you makes it my business.  But Justin needs to know what happened.  He’s talking to Britney now.  Go home.  Stop by tomorrow afternoon.  See if he’s ready to talk to you then. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said.  “I hope we can work this out.  I mean you, me and him, we grew up together.  We’ve been friends since we were what, about six?”  I nodded my head to tell him he was right.  “I never meant for this to happen.”

“Don’t tell me, tell Justin.  And do it tomorrow.  Now go home.”  I walked back into the house and made my way back to the hallway stopping to pick up a magazine from the coffee table while ignoring the confused and questioning glances from Justin’s parents.

I carried the magazine with me and sat myself on the floor across the hall from the bedroom.  I flipped through the glossy pages half-heartedly.  Every few minutes a word or phrase would find its way to my ear.

Sorry…didn’t think…but then…and I tried…you…after the…pregnant.

Pregnant?  Was Britney pregnant?  I told myself to stop listening and read the stupid magazine.  Besides, I had a feeling that Justin would tell me everything shortly.

Almost an hour later they came out of the room.  My eyelids were drooping out of boredom, not drowsiness.  Before I looked up at them I had a thought.  What if they made up and got back together?  What if my attempts to be the good friend resulted in the loss of the chance I had waited so long for?

When I looked up I saw that my fears were unfounded.  They had both been crying and I could tell by their eyes that they had made up but only as friends.  I kept my mouth shut and watched as Justin walked her to the door.  Then, in one movement, he hugged his friend goodbye for now and his lover goodbye forever.

I ducked back into the hallway before he could see me watching and waited for him to come back.  When he did I could see the tired relief in his eyes.  He was tired of having his heart broken but he was relieved to have this most recent ordeal behind him.

He stepped back into his bedroom and said, “Come on.  I need to talk to you.”  I went past him into the room and he closed the door behind us.

I settled myself onto his bed and after he took a seat next to me I asked, “What did she say?”

“That she realized a while ago that she didn’t love me.”

“What do you mean?”

“A few months ago we had a scare,” he answered.  “We thought she was pregnant.”  Now I understood why I had heard that word coming through the bedroom door.  “It turned out that she wasn’t but I guess it made her start thinking about us, about what our life would be like together and she realized that that’s not what she wanted.  She was afraid to tell me.  She didn’t want to hurt me so she just tried hinting around.  She knew that we weren’t right for each other anymore but she didn’t want to come right out and tell me that she didn’t love me.”

“But in the long run she hurt you worse than she would have had she just told you,” I said sympathetically.

“She realizes that now.  Anyway, during that time she started noticing Jared in a way she hadn’t before.  She had no intentions of doing anything while we were still together but one night she ran into him at a club.  They had a few too many drinks and ended up at his place.  I guess the rest is history.”

“How did you find out?” I asked.

“She told me about a week later.  I was at her house and she tried to talk to me calmly.  As soon as the words were out of her mouth I just left.  That was six days ago and I’ve avoided them both until today.

“I’m sorry, Justin,” I said.

“Actually, I think it’s okay.  She made me realize that I never loved her the way I thought I did.  I guess she and Jared want to be together now.  I told her that if they were in love to go for it.  But I didn’t lie to her and tell her that it would be easy to see them together.”

“But everything’s okay now?” I asked.  “I mean you can be done being angry and start getting over it now?”

“Yeah, I think I can, especially because she sort of gave me some advice.  When we were done talking she added something,” he answered.

“What was that?”

“She told me that if I wanted to find true love I only had to look into your eyes.”

“W-what do you mean?” I asked.  I didn’t know what to say and now I could feel my palms sweating and my heart racing.

“She seems to think that you and I are in love and I’ve just been too stupid to see it and you’ve been too afraid to do anything about it.  Is that true?” he asked looking into my eyes.

This wasn’t how I wanted him to find out but I knew I had to tell him.  I looked at my feet as I spoke.  “Yes.  I didn’t realize it until after you and Britney got together.  That’s why I came over here today.  I had finally gotten the courage to tell you and I thought it would be okay since you broke up.”

“She said I was too stupid to see it,” he said.  “She was right.  I was stupid but I’m not blind.  All I needed was someone to point it out to me.”

I looked up at him.  “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying she was right.  I am in love with you.  I think I always have been.”  My eyes went wide at this.  “And if you love me and want to be with me then I’ll be fine…forever.”

I heard myself saying, “I do love you.”

“Then everything’s okay,” he told me pulling me into his arms.

I went to my childhood friend’s house today to tell him I’m in love with him and I did just that.  What I didn’t tell him is when I fell in love with him (which was when he pushed me in the sandbox so many years ago).  Maybe tomorrow…