Magic
SS by Danielle

 

“Magic”

 

She twirls around in her white dress.

 

The people around her recognize her face, but she doesn’t seem to notice their stares.

 

She holds the hand of a man who she loves, and she leads him through the crowd. Then her eyes become attracted to the balcony of this glamorous party. It has grapevines growing around it with white orchids framing it’s entrance.

 

She yearns to see it.

 

“Brit, where are we going?” Kevin asks. He yawns to try to keep himself awake. The drinks he had made him weary.

 

“The balcony….isn’t it pretty?” she says once she leads him to the platform. The cities light were visible, and it made him dizzy to see them shine so brightly.

 

Kevin then fell into a sweet frame of mind when he saw the flowing beauty in front of him.

 

She twirls again…and again. Following the lines of the grapevines on the floor, she falls in love with the exterior of this mansion. It is all too familiar to her for some reason. She has been here before…hasn’t she?  The piano is being played inside, and her body moves instantly to the rhythm.

 

Kevin becomes silently worried when he sees her flow with the music. Her white dress flows softly causing the air to hit his face gently every time she decided to twirl in front of him. 

 

He thought maybe he should go home since she was acting a little strange.

 

But she was untouchable as she continued to dance.

 

“Had a lot to drink tonight Brit?” Kevin asked with a chuckle.

 

“No, just enough,” she answered.

 

Feeling defeated, Kevin decided to just watch her.

 

There is a part of him that wants to grab her hand and twirl her around with him; to lead her on the dance floor.

 

But she can lead herself; he knows that by now.

 

Yet…She doesn’t know that she is being watched by the host of the party.

 

He sees her through the glass doors looking so happy that it almost hurts him to see her this way.

 

And why it is that he always felt as if he is always on the outside looking in on her?

 

“Play something for me,” Cameron says as she locks her arms around his waist from behind. She tells him to ignore the entourage of many celebrities on the dance floor of his new home. She tells him to ignore the blaring music and to just play a song for her.

 

She leads him to sit on the piano which was set at the entrance of the balcony allowing Justin to receive a better view of her…twirling and laughing. He then pulls his gaze down to see Cameron’s laying her head upon his shoulder. He focuses his view on the piano key to avoid her; he needs to focus on anything but on the girl dancing on the balcony.

 

“So what do you want me to play?” Justin asks as he clears his throat that suddenly became dry.

 

“Anything that comes to mind,” Cameron whispers with her eyes close.

 

All he could was softly chuckle at his own thoughts.

 

And so it is that Justin played a song that was all too familiar for Britney who hears the song pour around her. The song made her relive an old feeling, and she took Kevin’s hand and started to dance with him. Only it wasn’t the same with him; she knew by the look in his eyes that the feeling wasn’t mutual. She is familiar with this melody; only it wasn’t Kevin she remembered being with the last time this song played.

 

Justin didn’t feel a bit angered when he saw them dancing to their song. The sudden shadows that overcame those bright brown eyes told him every thing.  Britney stops twirling as her feet comes to an abrupt stop.

 

Her mind reels back to him. She knows this song all too well. Her mouth drops a little as her eyes wander to where the piano man is sitting.

 

His identity is revealed.

 

She sees the couple, but her eyes could only focus on those blue speckles. Cameron is just a hazy figure through her perspective. She only sees him playing…she feels him haunting her…and he should know how much she wants to disappear right now.

 

Kevin is tugging at her hand asking if they could go. He is just as shocked as she is.

 

“What the fuck is he doing?” Britney asks in a whispers that seems to sting Kevin’s ears.

 

“Brit come on, let‘s go home,” Kevin’s sober voice suddenly came back.

 

And their song continued to play. Britney continued to look at him through the glass windows with a fire glaring in her eyes.

 

She confronts him with her drunk mind speaking on her behalf.

 

“Stop playing!” she commands in a rough voice when she is standing in front of the piano bench. Her voice causes Cameron to open her eyes.

 

“What’s the problem?” she turns to Justin then to Britney. The tension could be felt between the trio.

 

Justin just looks down at his now inert hands. He couldn’t bare to look in to her brown eyes, and he won’t admit that he is a bit ashamed of his own actions.

 

But he stood quiet; unable to confront her.

 

“You’re such a fucking coward,” Britney hisses at him before taking Kevin’s hand and leaving out the door.

 

By then all the guests stopped dancing to watch the drama unfold.

 

Cameron was speechless as she looks at Justin for answers.

 

“What was that all about?” she finally asks.

 

“Nothing she was just drunk,” he lied.

 

Justin looks on to see the couple leaving the room in a hurry with Britney leading the way.

 

Next Day

 

Shouldn’t be here…Shouldn’t be asking security to come up…Shouldn’t been at her front door asking to gain entry. Then again there were a lot of things that he shouldn’t have done.

 

“Justin is great to see you. She’s on the balcony,” Fe greets him.

 

And why isn’t he surprised. She loves standing on that platform to look down at the city; it makes her feel peaceful. He steps outside and walks over to where she stands in her white robe.

 

“What are you doing here?” she asks with her back still turned to him. Justin could them smell the scent of cigarettes fill his nose; she was smoking.

 

“I came to apologize,“ he then looks down at his feet. He suddenly feels thankful that he isn’t doing this while looking at her face.

 

“Well, that’s a first,” she sarcastically states before taking another drag of her cigarette.

 

“Yeah so I am sorry about the other night. And I hope you know that my intentions weren’t to upset you. I was just playing the piano and that song came to mind…I wasn’t trying to rub it in,” his words sounded sincere. And Britney had to shut her eyes. Why are his words always convincing? I hate him, she thought.

 

“Well as hard as that is to believe, I still respect you coming here to tell me that,” she finally turns around to face him. His lips curl into a smile as he looks at how normal she looks. No make-up or hair extensions. Her hair was in a messy pile on top of her head. She looks perfect, he thought. 

 

“Oh and I am sorry for my outburst. I didn’t mean to call you a….”

 

“Don’t mention it,” Justin stops her with his hand.

 

And then she just laughs. This laugh of hers wasn’t awkward but natural to his ears. It was one of the things he missed most about her.

 

“It’s really good to see you, Brit.” Justin says. 

 

Britney looked at him with a surprised expression because she didn’t expect him to say such a thing.

 

“Well…you too, J” she says.

 

“I missed talking to you,” Justin didn’t mean to be sound so blunt as he said the words. But he wasn’t going to beat around the bush with her.

 

“Well the phone, it works both ways,” she says with a smile. She never thought he would be telling her that he missed hearing her voice.  But then again he was sometimes very unpredictable at times with his words.

 

“So what made you come here and talk face to face with me when you could have done this over the phone,” she wasn’t going to beat around the bush with him either.

 

Justin moves closer to her this time.

 

Britney can feel the breath leave her lips when he leans down to whisper in her ear. His words make her shiver as her mouth becomes slightly open in shock. Her eyes then flutter when he takes her hand and cups it in his. She hears every word with her toes curling into knots just as her stomach was doing at that very  moment.

 

When Justin pulls back, she just stares at him with wide eyes.

 

Kevin then stands at the door with his hands ready to be used as weapons. “May I help you, Justin?” he asks. His question startles Britney who rushes in between the two men.

 

“No, he was just leaving weren’t you Justin?” Britney asks with her eyes acting as alarms for him to leave.

 

“Yeah, I have a plane to catch. It was as good to see you Kevin…and Britney,” Justin says as he leaves with his eyes taking one last look at the couple before leaving out the room. He notices how Britney’s grew darker under his stare, and all he does is smile in that cocky way that always made her shiver.

 

“What was that all about?” Kevin confronts her. He wasn’t too happy to see Justin visiting his fiancé.

 

“He was just apologizing for last night,” Britney answers with her heart pacing.

 

“But what did he whisper in your ear?” Kevin confronts her with yet another question.

 

“You saw that?” Britney asks as she begins to chew on her bottom lip.

 

“Yeah that’s when I came out. I thought he said something that might have offended you…again,” Kevin says as he adjusts the cap on his head for the millionth time. He always does that when he’s nervous.

 

“No…no…he didn’t say anything offensive. He was just apologizing,” Britney lied.

 

“So you’re okay then?” he says, bringing his arm to surround her shoulders.

 

“I’m fine,” she lied again.

 

Justin’s words kept playing inside her head. It should be so simple to say goodbye after this long, but she is beginning to realize how it only gets harder…with him; it is always harder with him.

 

She walks down the strip with her hat and sunglasses on. She didn’t tell her bodyguard where she was going this time. It’s better no one knows for now.

 

Britney is relieved when she finds the small café.

 

And through the window she can see him. She was on the outside looking in on how he twirls the small coffee cup in his hands. He was deep in thought with his forehead wrinkled and loose tie.

 

She finally enters, and Justin lifts his head up immediately.

 

His eyes follows her steps as she walks over to him. Justin then stands up and tucks his hands in his pockets.

 

“How you’re doing?” he asks her with half a smile.

 

“Justin cut the bullshit, just tell me what you want,” Britney says as she sits down.

 

“I don’t want anything. I gave you an invitation and you accepted,”  Justin says with a sudden flicker in his eyes. This strange look of his doesn’t go unnoticed to Britney.

 

“Just tell what this is all about. If you don’t have anything to tell me then I am leaving…I don’t want to waste your time,” Britney says with her eyes looking at his bare feet. Avoidance is her specialty with him.

 

“You need me,” he simply state.

 

She then shoots her head up to look at him.

 

“What?” she asks, wanting him to explain himself.

 

“Listen Brit, I meant what I said back at your apartment. I missed you and…” Justin pauses for a moment.

 

But Britney signals him to stop when she puts up her hand.  She takes one step back and slightly shakes.

 

“Is this the moment where you tell me that you told another radio station or even better….you told David letterman how we fucked five times in your tour bus while it was broken down or….”

 

“Don’t be such a bitch now,” he cuts her off.

 

She just stares at him, shocked. “I wasn’t the one who held your hand and told you to meet me here… You wanted to meet…” she says, frustrated.

 

“I know that. If you just let me speak, I was going to tell you that I wanted to try talking again as friends. I was just talking to your mom the other day and she was telling me how much you needed me as a friend again. Lance even told me the same thing and I got worried about you after the whole Jason….”

 

“I don’t  fucking need you,” she hisses at him. She really did not want him telling her the past mistakes that she made.

 

“Then why are you here,” Justin says, pushing her to the limit.

 

“I am here because I thought I should tell you that I am engaged…” she spits out.

 

Justin raises his eyebrows,  taken aback. She continues on…

 

“And the last thing I need is you sneaking into my apartment whispering meaningless shit into my ear. Justin, trust me, you are the last thing I need,” she punctuates each word and tries hard not to raise her voice.

 

Justin looks at her . Just looks at her with an expression she can’t read, and it’s killing her.

 

“Well say something damnit,” she blurts out.

 

“What’s the point?” he says, raising his eyebrows.

 

She then throws her hands up in frustration, muttering “unbelievable” under her breathe.

 

“You know what? There is no point. I don’t understand why I even came here. This was all a big mistake,” she rambles.

 

As she starts to get up from her seat, Justin grabs her arm.

 

And for a moment she thinks that he might say something that will make her stay; that will cause her to give in to him like she always used to do.

 

“Congratulations. For once, you are going to marry some one who is just as screwed up as you are, ” he says.

 

She just looks at him with shocked eyes then roughly pulls away from his grasp.

 

She almost runs out of the café and when she finally exits, she starts to cry.

 

Her sobs fail to subside as she walks to her car. She couldn’t believe she was crying over him again; this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was all to familiar to her.

 

She then stops in front of her car and slams the door with her small fist. The anger in her is starting to surface as she continues to cry.

 

Just as she is able to leave, she changes her mind.

 

“I am not going to let him win…not this time,” she decides in her head.

 

She turns back and walks quickly back to the place where she last saw him.

 

Quickening her pace, she hopes that he didn’t leave yet.

 

As she starts to get closer, she notices him standing there in front of the small café.

 

He is watching her come closer with a half curved smile.

 

‘He knew I was going to be back‘, she thought. Even with her eyes red and puffy, his smile didn’t even disappear. It was as if he was glad that he caused her pain.

 

 The mere sight of him causes her to plunge forward, and she pushes him roughly with the palms of her hands.

 

“Hey…” Justin tries to ward her off.

 

“I loved you once. Do you remember? You held me in you arms once so tight; you were the one I was going to marry remember that?” She takes a deep breath to control her sobs but it’s hopeless.

 

Justin refuses to answer; refuses to look her in the eye.

 

“Look at me!” she demands. “I try to remember those times but every time you hurt me…it becomes harder to recall. Is that what you fucking want?” she asks as she starts to push him again but he grabs her fists.

 

“Because I could forget…if you want this all to end. I’ll  forget every thing.”

 

In order for them not to attract attention, he lures her into  the hotel lobby nearby.

 

“Stop…let me go!” she hisses but he continues to pull her until they reach the private elevators.

 

“Justin, what the fuck are doing?” Britney demands in a low voice, but just as the elevator doors open, she gets her answer.

 

Justin takes her struggling body and crashes it against his chest.

 

He kisses her. Hard. In an almost painful way that leaves her  dizzy.

 

Then she shoves him. “No…I hate you,” she says.

 

He just looks at her body with a stare that causes her to shake. He then shakes his head, knowing that she is lying through her teeth.

 

 He grabs her again. This time he crushes her to him and kisses the base of her neck in a harsh way.

 

He wishes he could stop, but he can’t.

 

“Justin…please,” she begs, whimpering.

 

Every time she pushes him, he kisses her harder. And she can’t help but cave in…finally.

 

“I won’t let you…” Justin begins to say as his hands slide underneath her shirt. The warmth of her skin sends a rush to his head. 

 

I won’t let you forget…I can’t,” he confesses. Then with a sharp intake a of breath, he fights back his tears.

 

For the first time, she is the one watching him cry. The pain and hunger in his eyes so evident and true…

 

And with their bodies still raging against each other, she grabs a handful of his hair and kisses him. It was cruel and rough but it felt so damn good.

 

They can’t forget.

 

He can’t forget this; these lips, this hair…her heart.

 

And she can’t forget him. “I love you,” she breathes into his ear.

 

They eventually made it to his hotel room where they suspended time for as long as they can.

 

The following morning is when every thing changed.

 

Justin wakes up to find her gone.

 

All she left behind was a note on a pillow that read “I will remember you” with her signature heart.

 

He crumbles the note in his fist and closes his eyes.

 

Then the music enters his ears. And he climbs out of bed quickly to enter the living room of his hotel suite.

 

The song is pouring through the highly advanced stereo system that came with the hotel suite.

 

It was her song. The song that  he played two nights ago that made her twirl and spin on the balcony.

He can still feel her here; he can see her figure dancing on the marble floor and she’s fading in and out…like magic

 

That’s all that is left of her as he stands in this empty hotel room with her song on repeat.

 

“Baby? I just got in…Justin what are you listening to?” Cameron asks as she sets her purse down on the sofa.

 

“A memory,” he answers.

 

from the back of your big brown eyes
I knew you'd be gone as soon as you could
and I hoped you would
we could see that you weren't yourself
and the lines on your face did tell
it's just as well
you'd never be yourself again

 

 

 

Saw you last night

Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew

You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground
You're the breath the blows these cool winds 'round
Trading places with an angel now

Saw you last night
Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew
Saw you last night
Stars in the sky
Smiled in my room