A Lesson Well
Learned
SS by Ing, Cay and Amanda
*Mature Content
"Britney, thank you for coming tonight." Justin said
"I wanted to be here, I mean I didn't make the release party so the least
I could do was be here tonight."
"How did you ever manage not being spotted in the city?'' Justin asked
leaning back on the sofa of Britney's apartment.
"I came straight here from the airport, and I guess with all the
celebrities in town today one more was no big deal. Besides I don't think I
was even seen." she said as she took a sip of wine.
"If anyone was seen I'm sure it was you." Justin said as he placed
his hand on Britney's leg. She only looked down at it and back up at him to
gauge his _expression.
"What are you doing?" she asked as she removed it.
"What we both want." he said right before he kissed her. And for a
fleeting second she couldn't deny that he was right. It was what she had
wanted. And for the first time in months she felt whole again and he picked
her up and carried her into the bedroom. They never once broke the kiss. That
is until they got into the bedroom.
"No we can't do this Justin" Britney said as she pulled back and
turned away from him.
"Britney, its all right, "Justin said as he tore her clothes from
her as he tumbled to the bed with her.
"No it isn't! It isn't right at all!"
Britney didn't struggle, much though she wanted to.
His voice was warm on her ear, "Yes. Yes, it
is, it's all right. Don't fight this." He said looking into her eyes.
Britney didn't fight. She let him touch her just
the way he wanted to, let him caress the little spot between her legs. His
fingers circled her, stroked once to show her how it felt and then moved away.
Her hips lifted slightly, trying to find him again, trying to reestablish the
wonderful feeling. Justin whispered words of encouragement all the while, he
was receiving as much encouragement as he could ever want just by her
reactions. Britney's fingers dug into the hand that was being used to hold her
down, and her mouth opened wide as if begging for his. She couldn't even speak
when he began to really stroke her, to press his fingers against her and
penetrate her gently. He pinned her to the bed with his body and rubbed her,
stroked harder and harder in tune with her whimpers. Her lips closed on her
tongue and bit down, she meowed out in pain. Justin gladly offered his own
mouth to her, and she screamed into it as he made her climax, kissing as much
as she was biting his tongue and his lips.
Britney couldn't move when it was over. He held
her for a moment as she forced herself to breathe normally by going through
the little ritual of holding her breath in spurts and then letting herself
pant again until she was calm. Justin looked down at her and saw that she was
crying. This wasn't surprising. Not even a little. Just the opposite, Justin
had anticipated this and had thought for quite a while about how he would
react. He sat on the bed, his legs straight out and together, and let Britney
rest her head on his lap.
"I'm sorry." She'd never heard him sound
so timid before.
She shrugged and let out a little cough.
"It's all right, "she soothed, lying
even as the tears fell from her eyes.
"Don't cry. Please don't."
She sniffled weakly, "Why did you make me do
that?"
He held her two hands in one of his and rocked
gently back and forth, "I didn't make you, I- "
"No. You're right, it happened because I
wanted it to," she started to cry even harder now, and sobbed out,
"It happened because I could never resist you and you knew that and you
used it against me! I wanted you to do it, I did. It's my fault."
Justin knew this would happen. He sighed a little
tired sigh and stroked her cheek as she kept on talking, then said finally,
"Do you know that everything you're saying is nonsense?"
She sniffled, "No, it isn't."
“Yes it is.” He repeated, scooting in towards
her. He moved his hand up to her face, brushing some of the tears away.
“Stop crying, please? You’re making me feel worse.”
She pushed his hand away, replacing it with her
own. “No, No…It isn’t your fault…I wanted you too…”
Justin looked around, knowing that the
conversation would head nowhere and go around in circles. Glancing at the
table next to her bed, he noticed something that he hadn’t seen before.
Reaching over and grabbing it, he ran his fingers along the edge.
Britney looked up and saw him holding the picture
frame and tried to bring her sniffling to a stop.
“When did you get this?” He asked, turning the
picture towards her.
“A while ago.” She replied, twisting her
fingers together.
“Hmm…” He said thinking. It was a collage
picture of the two of them. Containing pictures as early as MMC, to the last
pictures of them at the Grammy’s, the images of their times together brought
tears to Justin’s eyes.
Britney watched as tears gathered quietly in
Justin’s eyes and took this chance to scoot even close to him.
“Justin…don’t cry too…” She said,
whiningly.
He looked up and blinked away the tears, smiling
at her. “I don’t think I should. After all, you didn’t listen to me when
I told you to stop crying.”
Britney pouted for awhile before speaking again.
“I’ll stop if you stop.”
Laughing, Justin placed the frame back in its
place. “Deal.” He said, turning back to her.
Moments of silence passed between the two of them,
neither of them knowing what to do next. After all, it is awkward to go from
the actions that were occurring on the bed, to just plain staring at each
other. Finally, Britney poked Justin in the chest, her hands lingering there
for a few moments.
“So what does this mean?”
“I don’t know.” Tears started to well
once again in Britney’s eyes as she watched the confusion on her former
lovers face. She knew that what had just happened between them was wrong
but she also knew that it was their hearts speaking instead of their heads.
Justin slowly raises his head, seeing the silent
tears streaming down her face. He scoots his body over beside her and
moves one leg onto the bed so he can face her. He takes her face in his
hands and gently begins to wipe her tears away with the pads of her
fingertips.
“Look at that picture,” he says as he motions
his head toward the collage of memories on the table, “When I met you back
then, I knew that you would hold a special place in my heart. I’ve
never had that feeling about anyone but you. And way back then, I made
an unspoken promise to you . . . . that I would never hurt you. And I
thought that I never did. I’ve lived the past few months blaming you
for everything, believing that you only hurt me. But then I realized
that I was being selfish. What happened between us before was both of
our faults but it’s a whole lot easier to ignore your own fault than to
admit that you were wrong. And that’s what I did. And I’m
sorry for that.”
Britney’s eyes soften as he speaks, hearing for
the first time the words that she’s longed to hear. Months of burden
slowly being lifted.
“To be quite honest, I’m not sure why I asked
to see you tonight,” he says, “All I know is that I needed to see you and
I wanted to feel you and when you walked in that room, every emotion that
I’ve kept bottled up over the past few months have surging forth. And
the love that I thought I would no longer feel was there. And I wanted
it so badly. I wanted to grasp it and never let go of it because I’m
scared to death that if I let go, I’ll never get it back. I’ll never
get you back.”
Justin’s tears now match Britney’s and she
slowly raises her trembling fingers to his face and wipes them away as he did
hers only moments ago.
“What are you saying Justin,” she says, her
voice barely above a whisper. His lips curve into a smile and for the
first time, he is 100% confident in knowing what he wants.
“I’m saying that I love you Britney. I
always have and I always will. And I’m saying that I’ve made
mistakes, we both have. Tonight being one of them. But I’m
willing to work through those mistakes and promise to not make them again.”
The look in her eyes tells him that she wants to
believe him, but something is holding her back. She takes a deep breath,
“What about Alyssa?”
Justin takes her hand in his, bringing it to his
lips and kissing it gently, “She’s been around enough to know when a
man’s heart belongs to someone else. She gave me an ultimatum after
the release party the other night. She told me it was very simple.
All I had to do to keep her was look her in the eyes and tell her that I
wasn’t still in love with you. And I couldn’t do it.”
Britney smiles through her tears and she scoots
her body to face Justin on the bed, “Now it’s my ultimatum. Look me
in the eyes and tell me you’re still in love with me.”
Justin places his hand on her face, bringing it to
him so that they are eye level. He takes a deep breath, licking his
lips. “I’m still in love with you Britney. I will always be in
love with you. Always.”
His lips move to hers, brushing across them in a
delicate kiss. She closes her eyes, opening her mouth in anticipation of
more. And he gives it to her, pulling her against his body as if to
never let her go. He kisses her the way only he is meant to kiss her and
then slowly pulls back to look in her deep brown eyes once again. He
runs his finger down the side of her face as he takes in the sight of her.
“Now let me make love to you the way you deserve.”
There is no resistance this time, their love
strong enough to break down the walls of insecurity built up around them.
For these two lovers have seen life without each other and now know that they
only want to take this journey with each other.
Love is making mistakes and having enough courage
to fix them. A lesson well learned.
