Looking Back
SS by Riley
Britney's
POV
As I sit here in this quiet little
coffee house its the first time in awhile that I feel peaceful. I look around
at the other people. Some are laid back some are in a rush but they all
have a story to tell. I look at the booth that I'm sitting in. Its our
booth, well it was our booth. Justin just saying his name made makes me smile.
Whenever we wanted to get away from it all we would come here. No one would
recognize us so we could just be free to kiss and cuddle and talk about
whatever we wanted. We would laugh and sometimes cry but we would always come
back here when we needed a break. I remember the last time we were here
together it was about a week ago. There was laughter ,smiles, and many tears.
::Flashback::
"Hey there pretty lady" Justin
says as he engulfs me in a hug
"Hey J its good to see you"
"May I join you" he says with
one of his sly smiles
"Sure"
We talk about everything from our
families to our careers to anything stupid or silly. When he mentions our
personal lives that's when it turned ugly.
"So Brit I'm sure you probably
heard me and Cameron broke up"
"Yea I heard but I wasn't sure
if it was the truth or just some silly rumor. So anyway how are you dealing
with it"
"I'm doing good now it was hard
at first but its gotten better" he says as he takes a sip of his
coffee.
"Well that's good I guess"
"Actually Brit I wanted to ask you
something" he says as he stares at his coffee. A few minutes passes
by before he finally opens his mouth again. "I wanted to know if maybe we
could try again..you know with us"
I stare at him completely surprised at
what he has just said to me. I look straight into his baby blue eyes and I can
tell that he's being sincere. I close my eyes trying to fight the tears cause I
know what I will say next will hurt him deeply.
"No"
I hear him choke on the coffee he just
drank and I can see the confusion in his eyes as he looks at me.
"What do you mean no?"
"I mean No Justin. I don't want
to try again" I lower my head slightly as I can see the pain in his eyes.
"Oh yea well it was just a
suggestion he says and chuckles "It wouldn't work out anyway I
mean you know what they say once a cheater always a cheater"
"You son of a bitch" he looks
at me and his eyes soften knowing that his comment wasn't called for but
it one quick moment they turn icy cold.
"What you know its true you and
Robson couldn't keep your hands off each other when I wasn't around,
fuck Brit you even admitted it to Diane Sawyer"
"When did the words I fucked Wade
Robson ever come out of my mouth."
"Well the statement I won't say
he was Technically right but I won't say he was Technically wrong either
sure says a lot Brit"
"You wanna know why I said that
Justin. Because I want you to think I cheated on you" I say as I can feel
the tears forming again
"What the hell are you talking
about"
" I wanted you to think I
cheated on you. When we broke up J you never even told me why. I found out a
month later from Lance. He called me and asked me how I could betray you like
that and that's when I knew. That's what hurts the most you know"
"What does"
"The fact that you didn't trust
me. The fact that you believed some fucked up rumors or one of your fucked up
friends that I slept with him. You knew I loved you and would do anything for
you. I announced on National TV that I wanted to be with your forever. I told
magazines that I wanted to marry you but you still believed some stupid lies.
And the fact that you didn't even ask me about it.. Jesus J I don't know what was worse you not trusting me enough or you not asking me about
it"
"But you never denied It Brit how
was I supposed to know" He says and grabs my hand
"That was my point Justin I didn't want you to know. You thought I cheated on you..so I let you think
that. You should have trusted me enough to know I would never ever hurt you. That's
why I said what I said to Diane Sawyer. I knew you would be watching. I
wanted you to think that I fucked you over because if you couldn't trust
me then you didn't deserves me." with that I removed his hand from
mine and threw the money on the table and paid for the bill. I look at him and
wipe my tears. He looks angry and hurt.
"I loved you Justin" I say as
I stand up "and I trusted you when all the rumors about you and Jenna
were going around. I never once asked you about them because I knew you loved
me. I was mature enough to know how some people like to fuck up our lives but
I guess you weren't. and well look where it got you J. Yea I'm alone
but at least I'm content can you say the same for yourself" I say as I
walk out of the coffee shop and out of his life this time for good.
::End Of Flashback::
As I sit hear and look back at that day
I feel proud. Proud that I finally told him what I felt. Proud that I know I
can resist the urge of Justin Timberlake. And Proud that I did what I believed
was right and Proud that I know I don't need him to make me happy.
I smile as I see Anson approaching me.
Looking back is fun, but looking forward is even better.