If They Asked Me To…

I can't believe they asked me to do this today. Today of all days. I mean it's not like I'm not already nervous enough. Or it's not bad enough that this dress makes me look like...daddy says it only makes me look like her more. No that's not a complaint. I mean, I am used to people telling me that I look like her. They always do. But come on, get real will you? I can't see it. I know what I look like and I don't look like Britney…I mean look at her. I wish I did. Its not that
I'm fishing for compliments or anything its just that I don't see it. Ok enough about that, to the problem at hand. They give me this song, and ask if I can learn it. Well yeah, I can I tell them, proud of myself. So what happens is now they tell me I have to sing it in front of people. Yeah, yeah I know. I've sung in front of people before. But that was different. Oh well, as Brit would say show must go on.

When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
Its only a heart beat away

Wow look at all these people. Ok now my knees are shaking I can almost her them now. I don't want to do this anymore, but it's too late. I've already started. There he is, he's so handsome. I can't remember a time when he wasn't in my life. Brit would walk around the studio with me and he would be there. She would never admit it but I was the first one to call him J. Well I couldn't say his name so, hey he was J. He's always been J, always will be. My big brother. Well yeah I know not really my big brother but yeah he is. I mean, I'm around him as much as I am Bryan and I can't love him anymore than I do. Like I said he was always there, the earliest memories I have are of me him and Brit on…what did she call them? Oh yeah, adventures around the Disney lot. And then one day he was gone, I didn't know why.

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in
between us
A telephone can't take the place of your
smile

Oh God she looks so beautiful, I knew she would…and she was worried. Wow, look at that smile. Ok this is weird to think that tomorrow I could go out and meet the person that I will spend the rest of my life with. Brit met Justin when she was 11 right, so it could happen. No, no, no…I don't think so. Oh God, now they are both looking at me. My stomach just went ticka ticka ahh ticka ticka. Yep, I spend too much time with them; I'm starting to sound like them, but hey what can I say? How many people my age can say that they hang with celebrities? Let alone have one for a sister. And on top of that, have her boyfriend be the guy that all of your friends are crazy about. Talk about weird. I mean I don't know these people that they are talking about. I just know J and Brit. And today I have to be good, perfect. I just want this to be right, you know? It has to be perfect.

But you know I won't be traveling
forever
Its cold out, but hold out and do like I do
When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you babe

Look at mama she looks so happy. I bet she is. Brit has kept us all running for the past couple of weeks and when mama and I were on tour with her, well when she wasn't helping the tutor with me, she was working for today. It's not as easy as it looks either. I went with her a couple of place. And well, I didn't like it. Too many decisions to make too many choices. But she did it. I guess she had to help a little bit. Brit was trying to do it all on her own. Mama and Mrs. H had to make her let them help her out. It's almost funny because Justin tried to help too, but she wanted to do it all on her own. She said she was only planning on doing it once, so she wanted to remember every minute of it. Well after we got the news, Justin put his foot down and that's when mama and me went on tour with her. Mama told her that it was to help her out but Justin had mama there to make sure she didn't over do it. He's her protector, always has been always will be, I guess. That's cool, cause he's always there for me too. Just like Brit.


Its only a heartbeat away
It's not easy when the road is your driver
Honey, that's a heavy load that we bear
But you know I wont be traveling a
lifetime.

OK its almost over, I'm almost done. Just a little more and I'll be finished. I did it; well I've almost done it. If they can go through what they have in order to get to today, well then I can sing just one little song. One song for everything they have ever done for me. It seems that I still owe them more than this. Oh God I can't believe I am actually crying now. I was fine before. But I guess knowing that when I finish everything else will start and that's when things will really change.

It's cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh I need you
When I need you
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

Ok, I did it. I made it. I didn't pass out…I didn't faint. I guess I can do this after all. Although I didn't want to cry but I couldn't help it. Well I was ok until the last verse anyway. Because it's true, it's so true…no matter how big Britney and Justin get. No matter where they go or what they do...or how many kids they may have…I know that when I need them they will always be there for me. Only a heart beat away. And yes we have had this talk. I was kind of upset when I heard the news at first. They sat me down and told me that even with the baby coming and with the wedding today; I'll always be just as important as before. I guess all of us are changing and growing. I just can't let Brit hear me say that comment about growing. Mama said she's touchy right now about that. But it's true. I would do anything, anything at all. All they would have to do is ask me to.


When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
Its only a heart beat away

You know, I worried and stressed about today. I really shouldn't have. I mean I have seen Brit under stress and be great with it. Look at her right now. She's as cool as a cucumber. I want to be just like her when I grow up, I'm just not going to tell her that right now. The girl cries at the drop of a hat. It's so funny. And Justin just tells her that it's ok and holds her until she is through. They look so happy…they haven't stopped smiling all day. I guess this is what all the years of tears and hard work has led to. You know people say Brit's not a role model. But I think she is…she's mine. And Justin well, even at my age, I know he's what I want to find in a guy. I guess even if I didn't love them like I do, I would still have to look up to both of them for the people that they are. The person they make me want to be.