It Only Hurts When I Breathe
SS by Ing

Well guess who I saw today

Sitting outside my favorite cafe

Sipping his morning coffee

On my street.

“Brit I’m so glad to have you back, it was really getting lonesome around here.”Laura Lynn said.

“I’m sure, you’ve been dating up a storm, you even told me that You and Chris have been inseparable..” Britney said as they both laughed.

“Well it’s good to have you back anyway. The kids are getting so big, and you look fantastic may I may add.”

“Thanks it hasn’t been easy, but with the divorce and everything getting back into shape was the one thing I did have control over.”

“Have you seen or talked to Kevin since you’ve been back?”

“No, and I’m not really looking forward to it.”

“That’s understandable, what about Justin? How would you feel about seeing him?”

“That was random.”

“Well it’s just that he’s sitting right in front of us?”

I said, "How are you?

I'm just fine.

I think that I recognize that tie."

He said, "Sorry I never got to say good--"

"By the way, I'm doing much much better.

I was just a little under the weather,

But pay no mind to me..."

“Maybe we should leave.” Britney said turning around

“You haven’t seen him since have you?”

But Britney only shook her head no. Her retreat was quickly stooped by a hand on her shoulder.”Brit, I thought that was you.”

She turned around and pasted a smile on her face “Justin hi, it’s been awhile.”

“It has been, you look great.” He said reaching out for her hand “hey, he said teasingly “Don’t I even get a hug?”

“I’m sorry I’m just surprised to see you that’s all.” She said as he pulled her into a hug that took her back years. She was again 20 years old and not a care in the world. She had the love of her life. A career that was on a skyrocket to the top and she knew just where her life was going. She wasn’t nearing 30, her career over years ago and her life on a path that she didn’t know where it would lead or if she even wanted to know.

Laura Lynn cleared her though to make her presence known. “Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“That happens a lot when Britney is around.” She said as he pulled her into a hug. “You’ve been making waves around town lately young lady.”

Laura Lynn smiled “I know it’s hard to believe now I have my own headlines.”

“If your happy that’s all that counts?”

“Yes, things were a little rocky at first, but they are much better now..”

“Yeah I remember the headlines.”

“What headlines? You didn’t say anything about that.” Britney said

“That’s because they weren’t important. Now we better get our table before they give it away.”

“Why don’t you two join me. We can catch up it’s been awhile since I’ve seen either of you.”

“Your alone? That’s unusal.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

Britney took a deep breath “Sure why not.” She said as Justin led her back to the table he had occupied.

'Cause you know it only hurts when I breathe.

When I make believe

That maybe he truly needs me.

It only hurts here and there.

Why doesn't he care?

Doesn't he ever miss me?

It only hurts me when I breathe.

Over the next hour the trio sat and laughed over over times. Telling stories of the past as well as Britney regaling them with stories of the kids and their travels.

“Oh lord look at the time,” Laura Lynn said looking at her watch. “I better be going, Justin it was really good to see you again. You ready Brit I’ll drop you off at your car.”

“It was great to see you too.” Justin said standing up and giving his old friend a hug. “Brit if we want I can give you a ride back to your car.”

“That sounds like a plan and you can catch me up on what’s been happened around here and with the guys. I feel like I dominated the whole conversation so far.”

He leaned on his arms, “I liked hearing about the kids. I really wish..”

“So how have you been?” She said cutting him off.

“I’ve been good, keeping busy. Music, movies..”

“I actually saw one, maybe two of your movies.” She said embarrassed “ You were really good. You’ve come along way since ...”

“We’ve both come a long way.”

“It’s amazing how we can get wrapped up in our lives and not realize how fast time has flown. How much we’ve changed and grown or just let the people we cared about slip out of our lives because we were so busy we didn’t notice that they were.

“You alight?” He asked when he noticed the water in her eyes she lied.

“Yeah it’s just the smoke , it bothers me.”

So you finally quit smoking these days

And I like your hair real short that way.

I never could get it out of your face.

So how was Paris, when did you go?

Tell your parents I said, "Hello".

Tell them my life is going just as--

I planned a trip.

I'm going somewhere exotic.

I'll show you the pictures, tell you all about it

The next time we meet.

“You’ve stopped smoking?”

“Yeah it was one of the bad habits I gave up. Something else I washed out of my hair.”

“Speaking of which, I wanted to tell you I like the color. You look like your mom more now than you ever have.”

“That’s what she told me that last time I saw her. That’s why I got the short cut, at least that’s different.”

“No matter what length it is you will always be Lynne Spears’ daughter.”

 “Tell me about it, I get the you look like your mother and Jamie Lynn gets you look like Britney. It’s a never ending circle.”

“How is Jamie Lynn? I’ve seen her at a few award shows but never really got the chance to sit down and talk to her.”

“She’s fine. Engaged, even though I told her she was too young. But what can I tell her, I mean I was young when...” She said and quickly changed the subject “Laura Lynn is engaged also, my dad remarried. She’s really nice. They spent their honeymoon in Paris so I got to spend a lot of time with them then.”

“While they were on their honeymoon?”

“I couldn’t make the wedding, it was small and very last minute didn’t want their big day to be overshadowed by me making an appearance. I mean when Bryan got married it was mad house, I promised I would never overshadow anyone like that again.”

“I understand but I’m sure you were missed.”

“I’m sure but there are certain things we can’t help.”

“No, some things you just can’t help.” Just then his cell phone rang.

“You better get that, and I better be getting a move on.’ She said standing up.

“Wait let me answer this and I’ll see you home, I promised Laura Lynn.”

“I’m a big girl now I can manage on my own.”

He looked down at the steady ringing phone. “Just wait one second okay.”

She shook her head and tried not to pay attention to the conversation he was having. But it was all too familiar . She had to bite her lips to keep them from trembling, she didn’t want to let him see that she was upset in anyway. She forced a smile to her face when he hung up the phone. “When can I see you again? How long are you here for?”

“I don’t know to either.”

“It was really good to see you again, I want to do it again. I miss my friend.” He said taking her hand in his.

She smiled at that, ”So did I . Paris is a beautiful city but it is also very lonely. It makes you realize what you don’t have. Especially when you see all the loving couples walking down the street and your sitting there all by yourself.”

He reached up and touched her face. “Is that why you don’t know if you wan to go back.”

“Yes, and I want the kids to be around family growing up. No matter what they deserve that.”

“Even Kevin?”

“Even Kevin. He is their father after all.” She said rolling her eyes “At least biologically anyway.”

This time Justin’s cell phone rang and he reached for it and groaned “I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“Well see each other again.” She smiled.

“I have to do a few things, clear some things up. How about tomorrow?”

Britney laughed at his eagerness. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. I’ll see you then.” She said as she walked out , it was really good to be home.

"So whatcha doing tomorrow night?

Let's have a drink. I won't bite."

He said, "Sure let me just run it by...my wife."