In My Journal
SS by Roxy

"Britney, Honey what are you doing?" asked Felicia.

"Nothing just writing in my journal," said Britney.

"I thought you decided to stop writing in it," said Felicia.

"I decided to write on it again, I mean just have too many things on my mind," said Britney.

"Like what?" asked Felicia.

"Oh like how Jamie Lynn is growing up so much," said Britney.

"Oh yeah I forgot to give you this," said Felicia.

"Jamie Lynn said it was an early birthday present," said Felicia.

"Aww it's a poem," said Britney.

"Read it," said Felicia.

"To my "Sis," from "Lil Sis,"
On her birthday far away:
Maybe life will separate us,
Yet we'll always be best friends.
So may love, until life ends,
In joy or sorrow not forsake us,
Sunshine on the darkest day.
Though there's a frequency I miss,
Each breath of peace that fortune sends
Recalls a bond time can't betray.

"It's so cute, where did she get this from? Did she write it?" asked Britney.

"No she got it off the Internet," said Felicia. And Britney laughed.

"You didn't finish me telling me about the journal," said Fe.

"Oh yeah and like when... " said Britney writing it down.

"Fe you can read it later," said Britney.

*PHONE CONVERSATION*

"Hello?" asked Britney sitting on the couch.

"Britney? It's me Lynn," said Justin's mom.

"Ooh...hey Lynn," said Britney surprised by her call.

"We need to talk," said Lynn.

"Sure, about what?" asked Britney.

"It's Justin. What did you do to my son?" asked Lynn.

"I didn't do anything. I mean things just weren't working out anymore," said Britney.

"What do you mean things weren't working out anymore? Britney you're being childish and you're hurting my son," said Lynn getting defensive.

"I am not being childish, I was feeling like things weren't working out anymore. The schedules were getting in the way and..." said Britney feeling awkward.

"And what Britney?" asked Lynn.

"I'm sorry Lynn," said Britney hung up the phone.

"Britney? Britney?" asked Lynn.

*END OF PHONE CONVERSATION*

If only they knew the real reason why I broke it off with Justin. He is already happy, he has moved on, he is with Cameron and I am glad he has. Every time I see pictures of them it kills me, but I had a good reason to break it off with him. I don't blame him for going on the radio and talking about our private life or what used to be, or going on 20/20 with Barbara Walters letting the world know I wasn't a virgin, going on magazines implying that I cheated on him with Wade. The Cry Me a River video, for having a look a like, which didn't look like me by the way. I understand that I hurt him, that I left him without saying a word. But can't he understand that it hurt me too? I just don't understand why he ever doubt that I loved him, I showed him in many ways.