Ignorance
SS by Wendy

Watching the flames rise in gloom my tears run down my face and I feel a

sudden pain I can’t ignore. I find my mind and try to think of the

consequences this will bring me later on in life, but will it matter at all?

I’m guessing not. I have a regretful past that continues to burn my future,

the ashes that are left behind bring pain to me and I can’t ignore it. I’ve

walk down the same road a couple of times and yet nothing has helped it out

at least in one bit. Yeah I try to make it turn away and not look me in the

eye, but it seems as though it grasps my face in its small delicate hands.

The wind runs through my body sending a shiver down my spine and I hope that

I’ll find some sort of place that will keep me warm for a long time to come.

I cry like any other person, I agonize just like you, but do I forget like

most of you do I think not. I make believe that there’s something out there

for me, that it’ll come true eventually, but when will the eventually

appear? No one knows and not even a psychic can predict it. I’ve hurt many

people that I love with my ignorance that will not leave me alone; I’ve

disappeared in darkness and have given into sorrow. I try to drown myself in

an ocean full of liquor, but does it work? The answer is once again a no.

You may think that I have a pathetic life, but on the contrary for me is

something that I’ve hoped for. Yeah I’ve burned the bridges before so no one

can find me, yeah I’ve erased their minds with ignorance and yes I’ve made

them cry and feel sympathy for me. Do you think I’m selfish? I think I may

be, but do you think that you are? You think not to believe in that, but to

believe I am is stupid. I’m a 22 year old man, with nothing to loose because

I’ve lost most things that I’ve needed in my life. I’ve left no room for no

one else, but me. I’ve cried and have walked away from this agonizing pain

but it always returns to me…even when I don’t need it. Yes I’ve tried

suicide many times before and yes I’ve thought about killing my

ex-girlfriend, but will I do it? I think not. She’s the air I breathe

remember? The one I’ll always love do you remember? I guess you’ve forgotten

now that I’ve “Moved On”. That’s all you pathetic people believe in, I’ve

found someone new when in actuality I’ve attached myself to my lost love and

friend. To end this chapter of my life I’ll let you, how can I say this?

Predict my future it’s in your hands if you’d like to hold it. I’ll leave

that .9 mm gun in your hand and if you want to blast my head off go ahead

and do it; you’ll do me a huge favor and make me leave this agonizing pain

behind.