Hard to Say I'm Sorry
SS by Anne

Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say
From each other
Even lovers need a holiday
Far away
From each other

Those are the words that have been ringing in his head for the past year and a half. Time away. He thought she was crazy. She knew it drove him crazy to be away from her for a day, let alone for weeks. Months. More than a year. But she had every reason to say it, they had barely spent any time together in those last few months. Yeah sure there were public events like the movie premiere, but even then it was their only time together. And it got spent in front of the world. The phone calls were of course constant arguments about how little time they saw each other in person. It just started to get too much. Then she went overseas and he was on tour. How could anyone make that work when they were already having problems?

But time is up. He's wanted her back everyday of the whole separation, even when he was with another woman. Even now he's still linked to someone but Britney's the only girl he want. Have ever wanted. Will ever want. She probably won't believe it though, Cameron being in town isn't the greatest addition. They had something going on for a couple of months but she knew Brit was for him. Not her. So they're just friends and she's decided to join him on tour during her break, but the media loves to run with any kind of bone.

CFTC weekend....

This is the only time when he can think of when he'll have enough time to say everything he wants to tell her without getting interrupted for some interview or soundcheck. He's even skipping the parties because this might be the most important thing he ever does. The guys understand and support him 100%. Knock knock.

His hand is actually shaking as he walks to the door. Looking through the peephole...there she is, looking around like a lost puppy not knowing where it's home is.

"Hey" he says after opening the door.

"Hey" she smiles as he greets her to come in.

"How are you?" He takes a seat on the arm of the plump chair.

"I'm fine, confused...but fine." She chuckles and sits on the couch.

"Yeah, sorry. This is a pretty weird invitation, huh? Probably the last place you wanted to be seen this weekend."

"Kinda" she nods.

"Well there's a lot I wanted to talk to you about, and not over the phone."

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go

"Well what is it?" She finally breaks the silence after a long 30 seconds of him looking anywhere but towards her.

"I love you Brit, now more than ever. I've thought about you everyday since you said we needed to take a break. I've tried to move on but it just points me in the wrong direction. Farther away from you. I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry about all of the girls. I'm sorry that every one of them got thrown in your face wherever you went and whenever you did an interview. I'm sorry about the video and the songs. You always said to express our feelings through writing, I guess I just took it too far. I'm sorry that I couldn't find a way to have more time together before we split up, that would've saved us a lot of hassle and heartache. I'm sorry for everything Britney, and I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you. Being so stubborn...'sorry' is a hard word for each of us to say. But living without you for the past year and possibly the rest of my life is a thousand times harder."

He was now slumped into the chair with his elbows resting on his thighs, not taking his eyes off of her face. She was completely stunned.

"Wow" was all she could say.

"I know you'll never forget the things I've done but I just hope that one day you'll forgive me." he sighed and stared at the floor. Tears started to drop onto the carpet below. Suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders from the side.

"Justin, look at me." She slid onto his lap once they locked eyes and she saw how puffy his were. "I love you too. I always have. I might have told the magazines differently but that's because it's none of their business and I didn't want to look like the pathetic one in the breakup. I was the one sitting at home wishing for a kiss when you went out with women and partied your little Tennessee ass off." she grinned.

This made him smile, he missed her humor and especially the smile that he wished one day that his children would inherit.

"I was afraid to say anything because it seemed as though you were high on life. You had everything and could get anything you could possibly want. I didn't want to mess that up for you." she bowed her head.

Pulling her head down to his, he kissed her with everything he had. All the he had saved up from their last kiss. All of the emotions they were feeling were poured into this kiss. They both felt it and knew that they had done their 'moving on' and it just told them what they had known years prior. That they were meant to be.

"Stay here tonight. Please, nothing has to happen. I just want to feel you in my arms again" he holds her tight.

"Alright" she wiggles into a comfortable position on his side.

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for the day
From your body
Wouldn't wanna be swept away
Far away
From the one that I love

Running down the hallways, you couldn't slap the boyish grin off his face. He didn't even bother to get his shoes after the 'Skills', just jumped in the car and told the driver to get back to the hotel as quick as possible. Rushing to unlock the door he finally got inside. There she was. His beauty making herself something to eat in the kitchen area.

"Do I get a bite?" he nibbled on her ear from behind.

"Depends on what you're hungry for" she grinned mischievously.

"Well that turkey looks good" he let her go and pretended to make a sandwich while she stood there bewildered.

"Oh you think you're funny, huh?" she threw a piece of ham at his face.

"Yup, I've been told I could crack a joke or two in my day" he polished his nails on his tshirt.

"Yea well, you talk to much" she already had him in an intoxicating kiss and moving backwards to the bed.

Justin had promised her that he'd blow off everything but the Skills and basketball game just to spend as much time with her as he could get. Those were the only things that he absolutely had to leave the room for that weekend. The rest of the time it was spent making up for a year and a half of loneliness.

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

sequel