Greater Risk, Greater Reward
SS by Cay

The lone figure walked through the dark street, the rain battering down at her head cast downward. She was mad, angry at the world, angry at what she had become. She picks up her pace, hoping that she wouldn’t be caught, hoping that the weather conditions and the stubbornness that the two possessed equally would be enough to keep him away, keep them apart.

She hears footsteps behind her. Someone running, someone coming closer. She picks up the pace, her foot landing in a huge puddle that the dimly lit lights had not caught. The thunder clashes above but she still hears someone approaching.  She runs faster.

I’m sick of running, sick of turning my back on things. She thinks, bringing her jacket closer to her sides, she slows down and then turns around towards the footsteps.

But the person keeps running. Running right past her.

It wasn’t him. She thought bitterly. He didn’t go chasing after her. After her tearful departure from the party, she thought that he’d go running after her. Wanting to fix. And what’s wrong with thinking that? If a man thinks something’s broken or needs fixing, he tries to fix it. Eventually everything breaks apart and there’s nothing left to fix.

She sniffles, realizing for the first time that she was crying. She thought it was just the rain that had gotten her wet. But there were also tears. Tears that she thought she had cried out.

Footsteps again. Shoshing in the puddles. This time she doesn’t bother. She won’t let those thoughts into her head again. Why bother? It’s not him. He made it clear that this time, she’d have to run to him. She’d have to face the truth that he wouldn’t be there at her beck and call every time. And she did run to him. Only to run away again.

“Wait.” She hears faintly.

It’s just my imagination. It’s just my imagination.

“Brit wait!”

She hears that voice again. It could be him…

“Brit stop!” A shoulder reaches out to hers. She turns, the wind blowing into her face. Even with the rain in her eyes, she knows its him. She knows that he came running.

“What?” She says quietly, just loud enough to be heard over the rain.

He remains silent, standing there in another one of his jumpsuits, wet from head to toe. Unlike her, his features are clear and unmasked. Hers hid under a hood, a hood that wants to shield her from the rain, from him, from pain.

“I’m sorry Brit…I’m sorry.”

“That’s nice.” She says coldly, turning again.

“Damnit Brit, Listen to me!” He says, reaching out to her again. “I didn’t invite her!”

“And you didn’t kick her out either!” She shouts back, stomping her foot.

He shook his head once, then determinedly tried to shove away the thoughts to give up to a back corner of his mind. His whole body dripping with rain, he took another step forward.

“Brit I never did it to hurt you. I never did anything to hurt you.”

“STOP it. I don’t believe you!” She shouts shoving him back. “Just go back to your party. Go back to all your women.”

“No, Brit listen to yourself. You don’t want to listen to the truth. The real truth.”

She scoffs and turns around running again.

Inhaling sharply, he runs in front of her, blocking her path. “Brit I know you’re in pain. I know you’re upset about things.”

“You would be too.” She says. “You’re the one that wanted to make up. You’re the one that wanted me to go. And I went. I went only to see her arms around our neck and her body pressed against yours. “

“Brit, it was her. Not me. She means nothing to me. ”

“No! Your words are nothing to me but gusts of breath in the air. Empty gestures of

meaninglessness."

“Brit, Don’t you see what’s happening? They’re trying to break us again. They’re trying to turn things into something else. They want to break us apart Brit, that’s all they want to do."

He takes a deep breath while she remains silent. “Brit, this whole thing we’ve gotten ourselves into,” he says, his hands gesturing, “It should be over! All those people playing with our lives ... we should take our lives back for ourselves. And show them that they failed to break us.”

Her eyes wavered as she stared at him. Up above, the rain began to let up, not coming down as hard as before. He takes another step closer.

“No…D-Don't step closer!" she said. "I don’t want to be hurt anymore! I won’t be vulnerable! I won't!“

He never knew how much pain he could feel until he heard those words. He hurt her. They hurt her. And she’s weak now.

"Brit…Loving and being loved ... it means being vulnerable. Don't you see? Just like all things in life, there are risks and rewards. The greater the risk, the greater the reward. I understand now. Love is one of those things."

With her eyes intent on his, he continued. “You told me that I didn’t understand you. You said that I wouldn’t understand why we had to go our separate ways. You told me that I didn’t understand love. Well, if hurting inside, a million times worse than your pushing and shoving me away because it was on the outside, at the knowledge that you didn't care about me, that you

weren't by my side, that you were throwing our friendship away, that you never wanted me with you ever again ... if hurting like that means I don't love you ... then love couldn't exist. But it does. I love you Brit, I really do. And no matter what people say, I don’t want you ever to forget that.”

He leaned back to stare into her eyes and focused all that he was feeling into her softening gaze. Pulling her into his arms, he felt resistance. So many walls. At first her body was hard, unyielding, then all of a sudden she softened, warmed. Her arms which had been rigid by her sides raised to return the hug, first hesitantly, then unbreakably tight.

“I love you too Justin…I do. I…I want you to make everything right again.”

“I will Brit, I will…” He nodded and pushed her head into his chest before lifting it up again for a kiss.

It was a kiss of a new beginning.

A kiss of how things were meant to be.