Gothic Rose
SS by Talia
*Warning possible disturbing content
PG-13 to R
Part 1
I am not alive, sure my heart beats, I
breathe, and I'm fully functional however I am not alive. In all aspects
of my emotional being I am dead. I watched helplessly as the light at the
end of the tunnel slowly dissipated until it was nothing more than the light of
a few embers from a dying fire and finally went out. I was left stranded
all alone in the darkness of my own mind with no one to battle but myself.
While the other flowers flourished and
bloomed into the biggest brightest blossoms they could be I withered down into a
dark mutation of a girl struggling for any sense of life and beauty to shine
through. I am the worlds gothic rose viewed by rainbow colored glasses.
As I fell into the downward spiral of depression that now consumes me, my
glasses were blurred and battered until any sense of color had been drained.
All that was left was the raw brutal reflection of myself left in shades of
gray. Through the daily struggle I call life there is but one thing
I pride myself in, my ability to act. Sometimes I can dish out a
performance the blows Julia Roberts out of the water. It's times like
these that I dismiss any thoughts that I could be anything but happy to the
general public. After all I'm only up there to be cute and make money.
That was made clear to me in the beginning of all of this. Honestly I
don't know why I even bother with it anymore. Maybe its because it is the
only thing that gives me any sense of feeling. Granted it may not be
happiness but who can tell the difference between bitterness and happiness
nowadays. Performing used to make me happy, lots of things used to make me
happy. There was once a time when I was truly like the girl I portray now,
when she was more than a character developed by the wants and needs of a nation
more concerned with the latest happenings in show business than that of their
own lives. She was once me, a happy-go lucky teenager with everything
going for her and then some. She had money, she had fame, she had friends,
and most importantly in her life she had found her prince charming, her knight
in shining armor, her soul mate. The day he left was dark and rainy.
As he walked out he took everything that made her who she was. What did he
leave?? He left me a dark twisted version of the girl that once was, and
the rain. In my new life the rain never stops it falls parallel to my
tears. They are the gateway to my empty soul and sadness. I'm
trapped within this dark world and I don't have the strength to try and get out.