All That You Deserve
by Ing

There comes a time in life when you realize that your past is just that, the past. Like today, if someone would have asked me ten years ago if I would be sitting here thinking the thoughts I'm thinking I would have told them they were a fool. But things change, people change. We hurt and we heal. For the most part. Sometimes we just put on a brave face and move on. Sometimes you never learn to let go, so the pain is still there and it becomes less of a pain and more of a dull ache. Until the one day you have to finally learn to let go.

There's something different about you
And as I look in your eyes
It says true love has finally found you
And given you back your smile
I'm sorry I couldn't love you
The way I always meant to
Now there's someone else to play that part

"Britney."

"Justin." She said with a radiant smile on her face "I had no idea . . . ''

"That I would be here." He finished for her.

"Yeah." Was all she said as she dropped her head.

"You look beautiful." He said "Even more so than usual."

"Thank you."

"Britney." Lynne called out to her.

"I'm being paged." She said.

"Thank you for coming today." She said as she reached up and kissed his cheek. "It means a lot."

"I wouldn't have missed it." He said to her retreating back.

I hope he comforts the child in your heart
I hope he understands the woman you are
And may he never take for granted
The little things that make love work
And most of all
I hope he's all that you deserve

"You were the last person I was expecting to see today." Chris said as he walked up behind Justin.

"Why? I was invited you know, I'm not just crashing." He said angrily.

"I didn't mean it that way and you know it. I just meant that I didn't think you would....you could...."

"I know what you meant." He laughed "I actually laid in bed for hours this morning debating if I should or not."

"What made you?"

"I don't know. I guess it was just one of those things that you hear about but you don' t believe until you see for yourself."

"It's not like it's anything new."

"I know, I’ve had years to prepare myself for this day.”

"Were you prepared?"

"No....I guess if things had been different it would have been easier."

I hear the way you talk about him
And suddenly it's all so clear
It's time for me to learn to move on
How deep in my heart you're still there
But I wanna see you happy
Even if it means that I'll make
Room for someone else to play that part

Justin found a seat in the back of the room and sat there nursing a drink for most of the day. He didn't want to get drunk and made it seem like the only way he could get though the day was to be half plastered. Although that, wasn't far from the truth. He felt like he was living a root canal over and over the pain just never ending.

"Hi." He heard the voice behind him and he thought that he was finally losing the little grip on reality that he had left. "Mind if I join you?"

He slowly turned around and there she was. It wasn't him imagination after all. "Sure, have a seat." He said as he looked around. "Maybe we should get a bigger table I mean if..."

"No this is fine." She said stopping him as he went to get up. "I wanted us to talk alone." She said as she sat in the vacant seat across from him.

"You wanted to talk?" Justin said

"Yes," Britney played with her fingers on the table. ''I wanted to thank you for coming."

"I told you before that I wouldn't have missed it."

"Wanted to make sure everything went off without a hitch." She laughed to herself

"Not really, and in a way." He said looking into her eyes. "Are you happy?"

"Are you?" She said fighting back the tears.

"I am if you are." Was all he said before he changed the subject. "So when did this all happen." He said and her face both went pale with shock and red with anger at the same time.

"Nothing ever happened while we were together if that's what your wondering."

"That didn't come out right, that's not what I was asking. I mean." He said looking off to the side seeing people that he had known from another lifetime "It was unexpected."

"Tell me about it. After you, after the break up it seemed that I lost track of a lot of our mutual friends. It wasn't until a few years later that we ran into each other. And we became friends again." She said smiling "And one things lead to another. The next thing you know I found myself falling in love again.''

"I'm really happy for you. You deserve only the best.'' He said as he stood up to leave "you will never know how sorry I am that I won't be the one to give it to you." He said as he picked up her hand and kissed it.

I hope he comforts the child in your heart
I hope he understands the woman you are
And may he never take for granted
The little things that make love work
And most of all
I hope he's all that you deserve

"I thought that was you. I wasn't sure though." Justin turned around and saw the other man standing across from him.

"Hi Bryan."

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing everyone else is."

"Why did you come here, what was the use?"

"Closure."

"I think you did fine for yourself don’t you. "

"What makes you think that?"

"All those articles and radio interviews. My sister was your last concern. She has been your last concern for a while now. Why all of a sudden you need closure?" He said getting angry. "Did you think she would see you and come running back to you . . . again? To get her heart broken......again?" He said raising his voice. "Speaking of which, how's Cameron?"

"What does she have to do with anything?"

"You never realized did you? You were so wrapped up in your own little world that you never realized that right before you took up with Cammy Poo and you and Brit had gotten close again she actually thought that you could work things out. "

"I never knew, I thought all she wanted was for us to be friends again."

"That didn't work out all that well either did it." He said as he patted Justin on the shoulder. "oh well, your lose." He said as he walked away.

Now and forever you will always be
Someone who owns a place inside of me
The only way I can let you know
Is by letting go
Now as I let you go

Justin turned back from where he was standing and went in search of Britney. "I need to talk to you." He said holding on to her arm.

"Ok let me go and we'll talk." She said breaking free of him and walking to the other side of the room.

When they were away from prying eyes and ears he asked. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you wanted to work things out between us."

"When was I supposed to do it? Between Jenna and Alyssa, or maybe between Alyssa and whoever she was? How about between Christina and Cameron?"

"Nothing ever happened with Christina." He said

"She told me about it. It was one night. It wasn't a full fledge fling but . . . you know I really don't want to get into this right now." She said as she tried to walk away.

I hope he comforts the child in your heart
I hope he understands the woman you are
May he never take for granted
The little things that make love work
But most of all I hope he's all that you deserve
Ooh yeah
Most of all
I wish you all that you deserve
All that you deserve

"Britney." Justin called out. "Do you really love him?"

"As much as I can, I don’t think I can ever love the same way again. Maybe I don’t want to."