The Cure
SS by Danielle

It’s 2:15am… I am wide-awake, and I can’t seem to sleep. Lying awake on this soft bed listening to the city noises outside my apartment window that I kept slightly open. I roll my head from side to side, and turn my body to lie on my back as I take my blankets off body.

I stare at the ceiling for a few moments. My eyes scan the semi- dark room. Pictures are being displayed on every dresser. I look at each frame…remembering the times that I had with every one that I loved.

I take a deep breath and finally sit up on my bed. I run my fingers through my soft hair as I place my feet on the ground and stand up. I feel my head start to ache. The pain started in my temples and then slowly spread across my forehead.

This can’t be good, I thought. And I stumble my way to the bathroom. I then flip the light switch on, and squint my eyes as the light stings my eyes for a few moment before I adjust to it.

I look at my reflection. I have circles under my eyes, and my hair is a mess. I start to splash water on my face. I close my eyes allowing the cool water to drip down my face.

After I am finished, I dry my face with the towel. My hands then grasp the sink tightly, and I start to gently bite my lower lip. I feel my fingers start to clench tightly against the white tiles as I try to compose myself…it then begins.

I shut my eyes tightly as the tears begin to build up. I hated myself for feeling this way…for staying up at night…for thinking of him on this one lonely day.

I should have gone to that party, and drank till I didn’t see straight…and danced in a rhythm only I can move to. I should have been in bed with my eyes shut dreaming of beautiful things with a very bad hangover.

But instead I am sitting with my bare back against the cold bathroom tiles. I just had to get the flu and stay here for the first time all night.

My hands are on my head with my knees up to my chest. I tried to close my eyes tight…tighter…nope that doesn’t work. I open my eyes and start to scan my bathroom…. my eyes land on the perfume. He used to love when I would wear that for him…I take a deep shaky breath no please I can’t be thinking of him…not today…not tomorrow…not now.

I was fine yesterday. He never crossed my mind. And the day before that… I was great, I was happy. He was just a lost memory in the back of my mind.

Only now, at this time, as every thing stops. I look around to see that I am alone. The darkness surrounded my bedroom, but I stayed in the bathroom with the light on too scared to walk in to the dark again.

Without warning he creeps in my mind again. He knows I am alone and that I need him…right now. Every muscle inside me is tense, and I keep my eyes wide open.

Don’t close them…all you will see is him…don’t close them…he will be there if you do with his beautiful eyes and smile. Just keep them open so you don’t have to dream of him tonight.

I miss him. There I admit it.

But admitting it won’t take away his image from my mind tonight. It won’t bring him here with me my tonight.

Avoidance. Just avoid it…the ache will go away. It did before, and it will now.

I swallow hard and wrap my arms around my stomach holding myself in a strong hold. It’s a strange thing. I thought my love for him was gone…but it’s still there. It will always be there, but I will avoid…I will hide…and I will surpass it.

The ache seems to spread to my chest pressing hard against my beating heart. I am finding it hard to breath now. It’s like a sickness. If you don’t take care of it, it will never go away. It will just get worse and spread until it eats you up inside. My love for him is now eating away at the corners of my heart.

I so badly need a cure…I need him.

Oh Brit. Just let it go…

And so I do, getting up quickly and racing to the bed…into the darkness that surrounds the bedroom.

I feel like I am suffocating as I collapse on my bed and hide my face in the pillows. I hold my breath as I feel the cries erupt in my throat. My hands turned into fist and they start to throw punches against the soft cushions…I start to hit harder and harder. I felt my face turn into a shade of red as the tears streaked down my cheek.

The pain was still there, and it was getting worse. I really shouldn’t think any more tonight. I should just lie here like this and just let the tears fall.

No more screaming. No more throwing punches. This time I was going to let the darkness suffocate me, as I stayed silent and still.

The clock flashed with the red digits…3:00am.

I then hear a faint knock on the door. I slowly got up, and carried myself through the darkness of the apartment to the door.

I didn’t bother to wipe away the tears because it was dark and no one will be able to see my face, which looked like the living dead.

It was probably just Rob or security running a late night check up on me.

I opened the door. I moved back against the back of the door and saw the person standing in the doorway.

I quivered and shook. I lost my voice when I looked in to his eyes. He stood still with his eyes scanning me, and all I can do was stand there…I was drinking him in.

His hands were in his pockets. He eyes then met mine again.

“Did I wake you?” he asked me.

“No. I couldn’t sleep…I am sick,” I answered him.

I can see the heavy circles under his eyes. He was tired, and I then saw as he came closer to me. I tried to wipe away my tears quickly, but he caught me.

“Were you crying?” he asked me.

“No…what are you doing here?” I asked him trying to avoid his question.

“I just missed you…that’s all” he says in a sincere way. He smiled at me softly, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I just needed to see you…”he then said.

I did the only thing that felt right at the time. Every thing was screaming for me to just drive him away, but I had this sickness inside that only he can cure with his roaming touch…with those smooth lips…and those blue eyes.

“Come here,” I said in an exasperated breath and I then felt him envelope me in his strong arms. We started to slowly walk back into my room; he lifted me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. He complained that he couldn’t see my face cause it was too damn dark, but I said that I liked it that way.

Because this way he won’t know that I cried for him. My blood shot red eyes remained unseen as he held me closer to him.

That was all I needed. We both lay down and he held me tight He then kissed my forehead.

I pulled the blanket to cover both our bodies. We were facing each other, with his arms around my waist and my arms around his neck. Our two bodies molded together in the darkness.

“Stay with me…” I told him as I felt sleep start to take over me. His warm body and his large hands that rubbed my back soothed me very deeply.

“I really needed to hold you, Brit I don’t think you understand.” His lips grazed over my nose and lips because our faces were only mere inches apart.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I leaned in and closed my lips over his. I caressed his cheeks softly as I sucked on his tongue and upper lip. He nibbled on my lips before spreading kisses down my neck.

“Do you still feel sick?” he asked me as he started to peel off my shirt.

“Not anymore,” I whispered against his ear, and let out a gasp when his lips touched my chest.

I didn’t tell him that he was my only cure, as we got lost in each other’s arms.

That night he didn’t realize that he healed me in more ways than one.