Broken
SS by Samantha D

Part 1

Justin’s POV

I lean against the wall, folding my arms across my chest. My mind continues to play the ever so repulsive conversation of my entire human existence, along with the realization that…I indeed wreck the best thing I had going on.

After a few minutes, I start to break.

"What you want me to say?" I ask. Numb to say anything else…I throw my ringing cell phone across the glass door, watching the glass door shatter, makes me think of the metaphor that I appear to be in.

I sit on the floor, leaning against the wall ever so often for support. After a few minutes of silence, I bring my hands to my face.

"I’m so sorry!” I cry out while my hands are still covering my face. I look up to meet the one person that I never intended to hurt. She doesn’t seem to be bothered by my actions. As I look at her closely, she seems so unreal…she isn’t showing any emotion.

“Say something, please?” I crawl to where she sits; she doesn’t even flinch at my touch. She doesn’t even look at me, it’s like she is fascinated at the dull patterns on the wall. I touch her face to bring her attention back to me. Her gorgeous eyes never land on my now hollow eyes.

I sigh loudly “Let’s just talk about it, okay?” I close my eyes for this is getting nowhere. “There’s nothing to say,” she says in a very monotonous voice.

“There must be, you can’t be happy…because I’m sure as hell not,” I say softly, caressing her delicate face. “That’s how little you know,” she says pushing my hand away. “No wait, I know you…you don’t mean that” I say, inside feeling something that I never felt before…rejection and fear.

“Justin…things changed,” she says for the first time looking at me. “Like...wh-what?” my voice breaking. “You can’t just break in my apartment and wreck everything that is in your way!” she says angrily “Huh? Are you talking about the balcony door?” I ask confused. “Yeah…No…umm maybe, no I mean everything” she stutters.

“What exactly are you trying to say? I can’t read your mind!” I say, in a rather irritated manner. “That’s it Justin…you no longer know me” she says. “We can start all over again…right?” I ask uneasy about her answer “No…you can’t just barge in my life again after what…all your frustration of a bunch of one-night stands? Or relationships that bring you unhappiness again and again? I’m not your way out!” she screams.

“I know you are not and about the other women in my life well…you are the cause of why they go bad…they can never compare to you, don’t you understand that” I say getting louder. “No I don’t because I never asked to be compared!” she says matching my level of tone. “I’m sorry…I know I hurt you but I love you!” I say pleading. “I’m sorry doesn’t cut it” she says as she stands up.

“I think it’s better if you just leave” she says while she walks towards the door. “No! What…what happened to us?” I say “A lot of things changed…I…I no longer love you” she says in a soft low voice. “It’s not true…you can’t do that to me!” I say grabbing her arm “You hear me…you can’t do this to me!” I yell close to her face. “Let go, your hurting me! You made me come to this conclusion when you left me” she screams while tears start to cascade down her face. I instantly let go “I’m sorry” I whisper while trying to comfort her “Get away from me” she says while she pushes me farther away from her.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” I honestly say. “It’s too bad it didn’t work out the way you thought it would,” she says loud and clear. “You love me…I know you do,” I say…in a way to convince not only her but also myself. She sighs and immediately looks at me “You don’t know…do you?” she says and as I look at her solemn face I know that something is wrong. “Know what?” I ask “I’m…well…I’m engaged” she hesitates to say at first. “Your what? To…to who?” I ask stun written all over my face. “To…Jared…as you can see it was never for revenge…we just kept quiet about it…hmm sorry I thought you knew…and that you wanted to change my mind or something” she says.

“You can’t,” I blurt out  “What?” she ask obviously dumbfounded by my question “You can’t marry him…he doesn’t love you like I do…No one ever will” I say boldly. “You don’t know what your saying” she says “For the first time I know exactly what I’m talking about” I say. “Just leave, please?” she asks. “No, look at me and tell me you don’t love me” I ask. She looks at me and tells me “I’m sorry but I…I don’t love you.” It’s funny how words can hurt you even more than anything. With that I turn and walk out of her life just like I did a long time ago. However this time I am the one that’s broken.

I walk as if I’m begging my own legs to take another step...How weak does that sound?

I have indeed fuck things up.

I’ve lost it all.

I feel so dead.

There’s no more hope

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